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On the naughty list

1
Santa won’t come if you are a naughty child. But what if you have behavioral problems and are totally overwhelmed by your life at the moment?

As the mother of two children I’m aware of just how different siblings can be. When people know my oldest son they tell me how I must be doing a good job. When people know my youngest they say ’Have you tried   ’. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the suggested support but we have tried all sorts actually and as we know our spirited whirlwind child better than anyone we are going to continue to do what

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works for us.

We have had problems with him in the past and previously changed his preschool as his old one didn’t seem to believe us that his issue was more to do with impulse control than choosing to be bad. They thought that we were making excuses. The new preschool took it on board, listened and responded appropriately and over time we saw a massive improvement in behaviour.

But then came September and he started proper school. I thought he might struggle but it was worse than we had hoped. He has hit other kids, hit teachers and generally

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3
been rather disruptive.

But teachers and other parents dont see the whole picture. When he hits others it is like a punch to my heart and all of the hope we had that he was getting past a difficult phase. I am genuinely  sorry that he would do this to others. But also I see a little boy that is sad and overwhelmed by this new stage of his life. Since September he has frequently woken with nightmares through the night, sobbing and confused. He has also started wetting the bed, something that we thought had stopped too. He is not the child he was just

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a few months ago.

He feels sad about the hitting too and tells me often that he doesn’t want to go to school because he is worried he might hit someone. Or if I ask him why he has behaved that way he cries and tells me ’I dont know Mummy’.

The school are now on board with helping him and we are taking tiny steps forward but on the approach to Christmas I’m looking forward to him having a couple of weeks break.

We have had lots of family get togethers and he has been asked a lot of times whether he has been good or he wont get presents.

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5
Normally followed by someone giving me a look to suggest he hasn’t been. He is seen by many as the ’naughty’ child but what exactly is that. He knows he is seen as naughty by others but I will tell him that all I care about is that he is trying to be good. Sometimes it wont work but I just want him to try and I will praise him trying to be good until actual reindeer land on my roof.
So if you see a naughty child it might be worth questioning what a naughty child actually is. And Santa might need to amend his list.
 

 

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- 22 Dec 19

Santa won’t come if you are a naughty child. But what if you have behavioral problems and are totally overwhelmed by your life at the moment?

As the mother of two children I’m aware of just how different siblings can be. When people know my oldest son they tell me how I must be doing a good job. When people know my youngest they say ‘Have you tried   ‘. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the suggested support but we have tried all sorts actually and as we know our spirited whirlwind child better than anyone we are going to continue to do what works for us.

We have had problems with him in the past and previously changed his preschool as his old one didn’t seem to believe us that his issue was more to do with impulse control than choosing to be bad. They thought that we were making excuses. The new preschool took it on board, listened and responded appropriately and over time we saw a massive improvement in behaviour.

But then came September and he started proper school. I thought he might struggle but it was worse than we had hoped. He has hit other kids, hit teachers and generally been rather disruptive.

But teachers and other parents dont see the whole picture. When he hits others it is like a punch to my heart and all of the hope we had that he was getting past a difficult phase. I am genuinely  sorry that he would do this to others. But also I see a little boy that is sad and overwhelmed by this new stage of his life. Since September he has frequently woken with nightmares through the night, sobbing and confused. He has also started wetting the bed, something that we thought had stopped too. He is not the child he was just a few months ago.

He feels sad about the hitting too and tells me often that he doesn’t want to go to school because he is worried he might hit someone. Or if I ask him why he has behaved that way he cries and tells me ‘I dont know Mummy’.

The school are now on board with helping him and we are taking tiny steps forward but on the approach to Christmas I’m looking forward to him having a couple of weeks break.

We have had lots of family get togethers and he has been asked a lot of times whether he has been good or he wont get presents. Normally followed by someone giving me a look to suggest he hasn’t been. He is seen by many as the ‘naughty’ child but what exactly is that. He knows he is seen as naughty by others but I will tell him that all I care about is that he is trying to be good. Sometimes it wont work but I just want him to try and I will praise him trying to be good until actual reindeer land on my roof.

So if you see a naughty child it might be worth questioning what a naughty child actually is. And Santa might need to amend his list.

 

 

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