Once Upon A First Time Mum

Louise McCourt - 22 Jan 17

One day I was telling another mum how I couldn’t wait for my daughter to start talking. She gazed back at me with what I can only describe as an incredulous look on her face. Her expression screamed that I had no idea what I was in for. It turns out she had a point. As I reached each transition, what I thought would happen and how things actually turned out proved to be two different things entirely..

Before my daughter could speak (The one I got the ‘look’ about).
Fairy Tale: I can’t wait until she speaks and the sweet little conversations we’ll have.
Reality: I never realised one small person could come up with so many completely crazy questions one after the other. (For the record I have no idea how long it takes to drive to the moon – even Siri seemed stumped on that one).

Moving onto solids
Fairy Tale: I’m looking forward to giving her little nibbly bits to see what she likes to eat.
Reality: Refused most food, even after being offered it on many occasions to ‘make sure’ and (I’m grasping here) me fashioning it into various different shapes. Ate mainly cereal and peanut butter on toast for a year.

Nap time
Fairy Tale: It will be really good when she drops her nap. We can do more things together.
Reality: I will never have a cup of tea in the day again.

Clothes
Fairy Tale: I wonder what kind of clothes she’ll like to wear. We’re going to have so much fun shopping together and picking out cute little outfits.
Reality: My daughter’s first opinion on clothes was that everything was uncomfy. Her second was the need to wear a tutu over her clothes everywhere for the next six months. Including bed.

First week at nursery
Fairy Tale: Me talking to daughter’s key worker at nursery. ‘Please can you not lose my daughters new hair clips’. (Nursery girl looks at me with an amused smile).
Reality: By the end of the first month we were lucky to come home with matching shoes.

First trip to the Pantomime
Fairy Tale: Now she’s old enough (three), I’m excited about introducing her to a tradition from my own childhood. It’s going to be a wonderful afternoon.
Reality: Oh no it isn’t.

Going to a cafe together
Fairy Tale: It will be so great taking her for tea and cake. And more lovely conversation.
Reality: The first time I took her to Costa, she emptied little sugars all over the place, then spilt hot chocolate all over her side of the table and preceded to lick it up like a dog. There wasn’t much conversation – mainly me quietly pleading ‘can you stop doing that please’.

Giving my daughter her own handbag and purse
Fairy Tale: It’s going to be so nice going shopping together. She can choose and pay for little things herself and learn the value of money at the same time.
Reality: She cannot except that she should ever part with her own (tooth fairy/pocket) money. She is so indignant about this, that asking her to use her own pennies in any kind of transaction now makes me feel like I’m being slightly unreasonable.

Although the fairy tales haven’t always ended happily ever after, looking back I wouldn’t change the memories for anything. They might not always have been what I was expecting or in some cases hoping for at the time, but they are my little girl’s funny and quirky ways and that’s just fine with me.

The End

Louise McCourt

Mummy of two and freelance writer. My words have made people laugh, cry and be inspired - it doesn't get much better than that.

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