Playground Politics – Teaching Children The Art of Playing Nicely

Rachael Tuckley - 13 Nov 17

Since starting school in September, Rohan has spoken at length about his playground and classroom antics. It’s a mixture of ball sports and fantasy role play with a little shared banter thrown in for good measure.

Let’s be honest, at 5 years of age he’s not the most reliable social commentator and he’s massively prone to exaggeration. To hear him talk life in the playground is straight from the pages of ‘Lord of the Flies’ or ‘Game of Thrones’.

It’s definitely a jungle out there, to hear him speak.

That said, it has always been important to understand that it is in these very play spaces where futures are being forged. How your child navigates the playground is every bit how they will one day approach the wider world.
Let’s be honest, the future Prime Minister is as we speak, engaged in an over excited game of ‘tig’.

Play is so ingrained in our social psyche and is the fundamental basis for our early development.  It is therefore no wonder that our children’s play is both prolific and prone to mishap. Every child will encounter unwanted or boisterous exchange at one time or another.

If we imagine the ‘Playground’ as a reflection the world as a whole, we can understand how it plays such an important part in teaching our children how society works. If anyone has ever seen ‘International Day’ on Peppa Pig you will understand. Despite the terrible theme tune and the narcissistic protagonist, there is a grain of greater truth.
It takes an incredible level of diplomacy and empathy to keep everyone smiling in the sand pit.

So how do we help our children to play nicely and to be aware and mindful of everyone around them? Can we build confident, passionate and exuberant individuals without them breaking a few eggs along the way.

The answer is no! We can’t have it all ways all of the time. Children won’t always get it right and there will be tears.
We do however have a duty to ensure that we foster a culture of understanding within our children about how we are all different and an awareness of what it is to walk in someone else’s shoes.
We must also ensure that they are able to grow with such humility that they are able to know when they are wrong and admit defeat graciously.

We need to talk to our children and encourage a conversation about how they choose to conduct themselves in school.
I was devastated when only a few weeks in to the school term I was politely asked,

‘Can I have a word?

In that moment I felt like I was to have all my parenting decisions to date scrutinised and criticised.

As it turned out, Rohan had been his usual rambunctious self. I made my awkward apologies and promised to revisit ‘our boundaries’.
He is still little and this reprimand comes at a time when he is yet to truly understand that this kind of behaviour is neither appropriate nor will it be tolerated.

Our children need to be understood for the age and stage of development at which they are at any given point. It is only when they begin school that they are able to start building a true awareness of those around them. There is definitely alot to be said for delaying the start of education until children are at least 6 or 7 for exactly this reason.

As it stands, our children start formal education in the term following their fourth birthday….there is therefore a broad range of ages and abilities rubbing along together. Reception is pivotal and forms arguably the greatest educational transition that your child will experience.

We attended ‘Parents Evening’ this week and what we found particularly refreshing was the class teachers ability to understand each childs emotional capability as well as their academic one and how at this stage, children require support to strike a balance between the two.
We must understand that although children may be academically on point, they are not always ready to fully engage emotionally with school routines.

We cannot know all that goes on when we are not with our children.
There are ‘half truths’ and little white lies. Cohesion and Conflict are part of the rich tapestry of life on the playground but if our children can choose to be anything, anything at all…..
let’s support them to be kind.

Rachael Tuckley

A Parenting and Lifestyle Blogger exploring modern living with children. Proving that life can be a lot more fabulous for less. Musings for anyone navigating life as Mum or Dad. HuffPost Blogger.

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