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#PledgeForParity – International Women’s Day

1
Women across the world will have to wait 117 years to achieve gender parity and I find this, sitting in a relatively enlightened society, shocking and hard to understand! Even more concerning, according to the World Economic Forum, is that this could continue to slip backwards as the pace of progress slows.

Tomorrow is International Women’s Day and this year the theme is #PledgeForParity. The campaign asks men and women to pledge to take a concrete step to help achieve gender parity more quickly. Now, I conform to the disappointing female

SelfishMother.com
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stereotype in many ways: ditzy, watcher of trash TV, a little too interested in how I look, but I have never once thought that this means that I can’t also be strong, competent and successful in this world.  So, I got to thinking about how the idea of gender parity has driven the choices that I have made over my career, dedicating much of it to teaching girls a traditionally ’male’ subject. I think education can go a long way to close the gender gap. It needs much improvement and actually to exist, in many countries, but even here, shaping a girls
SelfishMother.com
3
mindset early is very important. Gender stereotypical expectations remain prevalent and until young girls erase these from their mind then parity will be difficult.

Things I wish I had done differently often inform what I tell my students and so I have written a letter to my teenage self that helps me with my pledge.

I pledge to help women and girls achieve their ambitions. 

Dear LDNFashionBaby,

It’s 2016 and, for a number of reasons, I’ve recently been forced to take a good hard look at you: my childhood, my formative years, my memories.

SelfishMother.com
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You’re grown up now, with a very lovely husband and two funny, beautiful children. Currently you are riddled with adolescent hormones that are making you insecure, at times unhappy and sometimes a little bit mean. So, I’m writing this letter to give you some advice.

You have spent a lot of time trying to be ’cool’ and you shouldn’t bother. It really is OK to work hard. Be proud that you are doing well in school, because in the long run you’ll be glad that you didn’t throw it away. Don’t be embarrassed that you are ambitious, go for it. There

SelfishMother.com
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is a futility in fighting against some things and this is one of them. You have to be in school so make the most of every minute. Understand how lucky you are to have these fantastic teachers and the opportunities that they are giving you, not all girls are so fortunate. One day you will find a place where intelligence is valued far beyond what you wear, or who you spend time with, and you will realise it shoul have always been like this.
Concentrate on the people who enhance your life. Some of the people you are trying to be friends with are not very
SelfishMother.com
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nice to you and you are retaliating by being just as bad. You don’t need friends who are pretty and popular, you need friends who are interesting, funny and loyal. Women need to be so much nicer to each other if we are all to succeed. Jealousy is a destructive emotion, one that boys seldom bother with. Always be kind because kindness will be returned and it creates bonds that can win a war.
Try and separate emotion from intellectual challenge. Being able to express your beliefs and opinions with clarity is very powerful. When people disagree it is not
SelfishMother.com
7
a personal insult, stay calm and listen, then if you still disagree go for it, convince them that your opinion is correct. Some men can exploit a women’s passion, using it to suggest that you are not rational, but you must always believe in your self.
Stop wasting time staring out of windows. My students do this, regularly. Staring at the boys training for football or rugby. Boys are busy putting effort into improving themselves, stop looking at them and improve yourself. There will be plenty of time for relationships later when you know yourself
SelfishMother.com
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better and are strong enough to find someone that fits.
Money is not success. Please don’t take the path that promises gold, it will not make you equal to anyone, you already are. Explore your options and stick to what you love, this will make you happy. There is so much more out there then you can currently imagine so take your time.
You don’t have to do the housework or stay home and look after children because you are a girl, you do it if you want to. It is not a woman’s place to do any of these things and that is why you will marry someone who
SelfishMother.com
9
sees you as an equal. Your husband will not want to give up work after you have children so you don’t have to plan to either. If you want a fulfilling career then make sure you have a partner who shares responsibilities equally, who works out solutions with you, who understands that it is as much his choice as yours.

I know you don’t believe it right now, but you are brilliant in your own special way. Do not limit your expectations and don’t allow anyone else to box you in. All around the world women are treated as second class citizens and you

SelfishMother.com
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don’t have to be. Believe in your equality. You do need girl friends, the right ones, who support you and celebrate your achievements because that is what we all should be doing.

Yours sincerely,

LDNFashionBaby2016

March 8th 2016 is International Women’s Day.

SelfishMother.com

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- 8 Mar 16

Women across the world will have to wait 117 years to achieve gender parity and I find this, sitting in a relatively enlightened society, shocking and hard to understand! Even more concerning, according to the World Economic Forum, is that this could continue to slip backwards as the pace of progress slows.

Tomorrow is International Women’s Day and this year the theme is #PledgeForParity. The campaign asks men and women to pledge to take a concrete step to help achieve gender parity more quickly. Now, I conform to the disappointing female stereotype in many ways: ditzy, watcher of trash TV, a little too interested in how I look, but I have never once thought that this means that I can’t also be strong, competent and successful in this world.  So, I got to thinking about how the idea of gender parity has driven the choices that I have made over my career, dedicating much of it to teaching girls a traditionally ‘male’ subject. I think education can go a long way to close the gender gap. It needs much improvement and actually to exist, in many countries, but even here, shaping a girls mindset early is very important. Gender stereotypical expectations remain prevalent and until young girls erase these from their mind then parity will be difficult.

Things I wish I had done differently often inform what I tell my students and so I have written a letter to my teenage self that helps me with my pledge.

I pledge to help women and girls achieve their ambitions. 

Dear LDNFashionBaby,

It’s 2016 and, for a number of reasons, I’ve recently been forced to take a good hard look at you: my childhood, my formative years, my memories. You’re grown up now, with a very lovely husband and two funny, beautiful children. Currently you are riddled with adolescent hormones that are making you insecure, at times unhappy and sometimes a little bit mean. So, I’m writing this letter to give you some advice.

  1. You have spent a lot of time trying to be ‘cool’ and you shouldn’t bother. It really is OK to work hard. Be proud that you are doing well in school, because in the long run you’ll be glad that you didn’t throw it away. Don’t be embarrassed that you are ambitious, go for it. There is a futility in fighting against some things and this is one of them. You have to be in school so make the most of every minute. Understand how lucky you are to have these fantastic teachers and the opportunities that they are giving you, not all girls are so fortunate. One day you will find a place where intelligence is valued far beyond what you wear, or who you spend time with, and you will realise it shoul have always been like this.
  2. Concentrate on the people who enhance your life. Some of the people you are trying to be friends with are not very nice to you and you are retaliating by being just as bad. You don’t need friends who are pretty and popular, you need friends who are interesting, funny and loyal. Women need to be so much nicer to each other if we are all to succeed. Jealousy is a destructive emotion, one that boys seldom bother with. Always be kind because kindness will be returned and it creates bonds that can win a war.
  3. Try and separate emotion from intellectual challenge. Being able to express your beliefs and opinions with clarity is very powerful. When people disagree it is not a personal insult, stay calm and listen, then if you still disagree go for it, convince them that your opinion is correct. Some men can exploit a women’s passion, using it to suggest that you are not rational, but you must always believe in your self.
  4. Stop wasting time staring out of windows. My students do this, regularly. Staring at the boys training for football or rugby. Boys are busy putting effort into improving themselves, stop looking at them and improve yourself. There will be plenty of time for relationships later when you know yourself better and are strong enough to find someone that fits.
  5. Money is not success. Please don’t take the path that promises gold, it will not make you equal to anyone, you already are. Explore your options and stick to what you love, this will make you happy. There is so much more out there then you can currently imagine so take your time.
  6. You don’t have to do the housework or stay home and look after children because you are a girl, you do it if you want to. It is not a woman’s place to do any of these things and that is why you will marry someone who sees you as an equal. Your husband will not want to give up work after you have children so you don’t have to plan to either. If you want a fulfilling career then make sure you have a partner who shares responsibilities equally, who works out solutions with you, who understands that it is as much his choice as yours.

I know you don’t believe it right now, but you are brilliant in your own special way. Do not limit your expectations and don’t allow anyone else to box you in. All around the world women are treated as second class citizens and you don’t have to be. Believe in your equality. You do need girl friends, the right ones, who support you and celebrate your achievements because that is what we all should be doing.

Yours sincerely,

LDNFashionBaby2016

March 8th 2016 is International Women’s Day.

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I am the author of lifestyle blog LDNFashionBaby. I am a mummy of two beautiful babies, whose adventures are documented on my blog. I love fashion, fitness and rubbish TV!

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