PMS on steroids

Rosie Wareham - 31 Jul 19

Periods. A fact of life for the majority of women. A totally natural part of life, without which we wouldn’t be able to conceive our much loved children. So lucky to have them for this very reason.

But being a ‘totally natural’ part of being a woman often gets confused with something that is easy and happens without effort each month. I am sure for some women that’s true. I also want to be clear that I am not undermining PMS, period pains and all those negative elements of time of the month that happen for many, many women.

However what do you do when that ‘totally natural’ part of being a woman starts taking over and ruining your life? Sounds so dramatic but I am hoping by writing this I will find someone who also identifies with these extreme feelings.

I have never been someone for whom time of the month has been easy. Long or erratic cycles, debilitating period pains were very common in my teenage years and 20s. In my late twenties I set about having children. A mixture of 3 miscarriages and 2 healthy pregnancies meant again my cycles were fairly well disrupted with erratic cycles, terrible period pains, and lots of emotional ups and downs. Not enjoyable at all, but still just about manageable I’d say.

Fast forward to now, I have 2 sons aged 7 and 3 1/2 with no plans to have any more. Maybe my body knows this and is in some sort of weird rebellion? Maybe there is some correlation to a personally very difficult and stressful 3 years? I don’t know the reason but I do know that time of the month is now something to completely fear, to dread each month and which has got to the point where there are elements of having a hysterectomy that seem more appealing.

If I sound dramatic I am so sorry, it’s not intended to be, it is my genuine feeling. Where I am now goes something like this…………

1. Two weeks after time of the month, ok. I am a reasonable, fairly level headed human being who is extremely motivated and has lots of energy. Able to deal with life stresses, a busy work life and 2 boys. Not particularly confident but not full of self loathing either.
2. Middle of the month hits and we are in the two weeks before time of the month, not ok. Very sad, anxious, unable to deal with situations that I know I could handle in the two weeks previously. IBS symptoms seriously flare up which only adds to the above – bloating, constant upset tummy, sickness & vomiting etc. The over whelming feeling is I want to find a way to crawl out of my own skin because I am so uncomfortable/unhappy in it both physically and emotionally.
3. Time of the month – very heavy periods, period pains that even codeine doesn’t shift, more tummy troubles and sickness and generally feel like a bag of shit/zombie because of the painkillers/hormones.

Then back to the beginning, round we go.

I am working with my doctor on this, trying different medications including tranexamic acid, cyclical anti depressants and painkillers. I haven’t found the right mix yet, obvious to me today as I woke up with that familiar ‘wanting to crawl out of my skin and cry’ feeling.

Anybody else out there struggling with PMS on steroids? Where ever you are I’m sending you a hug.  xxx

Rosie Wareham

Mum of 2 boys, running a digital marketing business with my big sister and always planning the next holiday!

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