Quinoa Led Parenting

Helena Lomas - 1 Mar 16

I was in the park this morning talking to my NCT pal about how to embrace the boys recent (and seasonal) love of Pancakes without the necessary sugar overdose, sharing sugar free ideas we’d heard of by Deliciously Whoever’s blog, before concluding ‘who cares’? Out poured my contempt for ‘Quinoa led parenting’… which we laughed at and decided was a good title for my first blog.

One of the best things about having 2 very different little boys is I’ve realised how much of what they do is down to their little personalities rather than what I should’ve/could’ve done wrong or right. I pretty much approach everything the same way with both and yet they are so different. It’s actually very empowering. This has especially assured me with the whole subject of food.

If there was a competition for fussiest eater on the planet, my eldest sweetheart would win hands down. It would drive me mad when other mums joined in that their kid was fussy, and then I’d see them wolf down their lunch… ‘yes but she just won’t eat fruit’… honestly there have been times where if I could get him to eat anything other than biscuits I would’ve been the happiest girl alive.

His baby brother – who has exactly the same Mum (me) who did exactly the same (jumbled up) approach to weaning, will eat ANYTHING, even hand-fulls of rock salt, as I learned the other day. Until my youngest was weaned, I definitely had moments of self-beating that eldest was so food-phobic because either 1) I had been too cautious with being baby led and maybe feared choking too much 2) I used too many pouches so he hadn’t experienced the true joy of home cooked food (despite endless batch baking) 3) maybe I just don’t have the weaning knack that others seem to naturally have.

But luckily youngest and his enthusiasm for food despite my uselessness has put these fears to bed. Bottom line, eldest is as particular as particular can be and that’s just how it is (and actually I don’t really mind, he’s very cute). But still, how to get him to eat?

I tried everything. I try everything. And for good stints too. One approach I really took on was the ‘let them tell you when they are done, they won’t let themselves starve’ thing… which led to him dropping to the 5^th percentile and a hospital stint as he was so iron deficient. Turns out this sweet blue eyed 18 month old doesn’t actually know best. I tried making food fun… he loved that… we played and played but still nothing went in his mouth. I put an Ipad in front of him, I made up food songs, I did social eating with other little people, I ate my meals with him, we even shared plates….and still ended up melting a rusk into his hot chocolate so at least he’d had something before bed.

After hitting the hospital low, it was something my Granny said that brought in a glimmer of hope. She commented, after listening to my woes, how there wasn’t such pressure in her day for little ones to eat such a varied diet. She suggested that even if there is one just thing that works, go with that, day in and day out. I realized I had put a load of pressure on myself for him to have a broad pallet from the off, but why? And so what if sweet Johnny down the road has quinoa and pomegranate salad for lunch, just do what’s best for yours.

I LOVE the River Cottage Toddler cook book advice (mainly because she is clearly a clever foodie and yet still had a fussy eater like me, this makes me happy) that fish fingers peas and oven chips is pretty nutritious and eating that every day isn’t actually a bad thing. So I took the pressure off.

For a while after the dramatic weight loss eldest ate fish pie 5 out of 7 days a week, but so what? After all, fish pie is great, it’s nutritious and filling. It was such a relief. I just let him eat fish pie, and slowly slowly added more meals in (over the last year and a half, so I mean sloooowly). And it worked.

Back then I think I’d have found it assuring to know too that it truly does get easier the more we can communicate with them so to a point it is a matter of chipping away until they understand more. So now, at 2 and a half, we are well in to the swing of negotiation and reward, and I don’t hold back. But until this point, eldest honestly was 93% fish pie.

My neighbour was round tonight and her boy (just turning 2) is an incredible eater who I used to look upon with big green eyes, but tonight he wouldn’t eat. And she was able to be blasé about it with him as ultimately she knows that over the last few days he has eaten well so why make a fuss. We chatted and I explained how that still isn’t an option with eldest as he still would refuse everything except biscuits if I let him. Yet it works great for her and it works for my youngest and that’s ok, they are all different.

We are now up to 7 meals that he will eat, which 12 months ago I would never have believed. Yes they are very basic meals, with not a grain of quinoa in sight, but they are nutritious and that’s what counts for me. This is what worked for us so hang in there if you are in the throws of fusspotdom, you will find your way. Until that point, I’d suggest binning any pressure and just give him what they love – even if it’s the same thing every. single. day.

Helena Lomas

Mum to Noah (aged 3) and Nico (aged 2), wife to Chris and proud Brightonite. Happiest mooching in parks, coffee shops and sea fronts with happy boys, scooters and coffee and laughing with the chaos

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