Remembering “me”

Vicky Quinn - 12 Sep 17

I’m a Mum of two boys. My 4yo has autism so I do a lot of running around. My 4 month old loves to be cuddled so the running around I do is mainly with him in my arms / the carrier / on my boob. I love being a mother, and while it is hard and exhausting and emotional and all sorts of things… it is bloody brilliant too. Since becoming a mother of two, though, I feel like I really am “Mum” and have started to try to remember “Vicky” too. Because after all, that’s who I am underneath. The Vicky who loves a cheeky glass of wine (or 5), the Vicky who runs half marathons, is motivated and driven at work, and loves
to socialise with her friends. I’ve learnt it IS possible to combine the two – the person you were before and the person you are now. For me, it comes down to 5 simple things:
1) Combine – like socialising? Find some
local Mums in the same boat as you. We moved house 5 days ago and I’ve already met up with a lovely local mum I met via a Facebook local group. She’s told me about loads of fun things to do with baby and has filled me with confidence that the new area will be brilliant for us!
2) Miss your hobby? Fit it in. I like to call it “#runbetweenfeeds” because at 7pm, at least twice a week, my husband does the baby’s bath and I go for a quick run. No it’s not a half marathon but it will be one day.
3) Keep in touch! Maternity leave – even with two – provides a great opportunity to keep in touch with old friends and of course with work. In fact you get the best bits – all the gossip without the long days! I’ve found the chats with my boss since I’ve been on mat leave a welcome break from nappies / soft play / playgrounds etc.
4) Don’t feel guilty. Taking 30 mins for a run or for just a break – for yourself – is okay, you deserve it.
5) Again combine – I must have taken this baby on a zillion lunches to meet friends / colleagues – and he’s enjoyed every second. It’s okay you know – it’s good to socialise! Take some time for you – and make it work for you –
I’ve got a day at work next week and despite feeling anxious about pumping (where will I do it?!) I know I’ll enjoy the “me” time. What will I do on the train for example?! A whole hour? Answer: read a baby book. And that’s okay… because I’m still “me”, and that includes being a Mum too.

Vicky Quinn

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