Remembering Rheiba

wordswithmrsh - 15 Feb 17

Rheiba was our grandmother. Although we, my sisters and I, always called her Nanny. On the 7th January 2017 she was taken suddenly unwell and passed away with her son and daughter in law holding her hands. She was 86.

Although none of us will live forever, her death is no less sad because she was old, but maybe a bit less shocking. There is still that familiar feeling of being winded and you need some time to regroup and recover. On 10th February we wished her well with a lovely service, a curry and a few whisky and cokes (her favourite).

Nanny was the last of our grandparents. We were fortunate to have three of our four grandparents around from when we were very young. And in what might be considered quite typical, we could feel spoilt. Grandparents prerogative you might say. With her loss, I feel an acute awareness of the significance of our parents in the lives of our children. This whole other layer of family, love and protection which the husband and I and our children are so lucky to have. In spite of our relationships with our parents (which I should say are generally good!), their relationships with our children are an altogether different bond, purely to enjoy.

Memories of all of our grandparents we knew, fill a lot of my flashbacks to childhood. Nanny’s cooking was legendary, yet not always for the right reasons. She had a few signature dishes that we loved and some more unusual food combinations that didn’t quite work. (Although perhaps she was ahead of her time and those meals would now be sold as ‘food fusion’ somewhere trendy in London).

Most of the card games I can play, she taught me, with added extras of how to cheat where possible.

Short in stature, we would all frequently tease her as we grew taller and taller and overtook her.

But being small didn’t mean she didn’t have some spark. From often being heard giving our grandfather a telling off, to bigger challenges such as working in Broadmoor and bigger still, seeing off breast cancer and surviving 2 strokes. She was tough.

She travelled, living life between the UK and India as well as plenty of visits to family across the globe. She could tell a good story. In between all the moving about between here and India, she met all of her great grandchildren, held them as babies. That feels very special.

Until she became unwell in her later years, although she was always Nanny, I don’t remember thinking she was old. The suddenly, she was.

Another chapter of the family is closed and for our children, Nanny will be a face in the photos and we’ll tell the stories behind them. Wife, mother of 3, grandmother of 3, great grandmother of 5, questionable cook, cheated at cards. Generations of family feels as mind boggling complex and simple at that.

Rheiba Estelle Fagan 27.12.30 – 07.01.17

wordswithmrsh

Mum of fabulous children, wife to one very patient husband. My blogs are about anything that has popped into my head as it occurs to me. I have aspirations to write more, that are slowly turning into reality. A lover of the simple things in life - good friends, good food, good wine and of course family.

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