The School Holiday Survival Secret
1
I love summer and I’m all for lazy, hazy days of drifting around without major plans.
But then I reach a point where it all kind of falls apart.
I turn edgy when I don’t get any proper ME time and I run out of steam when I’m the one they come to for absolutely everything.
Constant messes piss me off and I allow way too much screen time just so I can get stuff done.
The summer ends without the kids doing their summer maths homework, keeping up with their reading or piano practice.
I vow next summer will be different. But
SelfishMother.com
2
how?
This was an entry in my journal several years ago and it finally inspired me to get proactive and make some changes in my approach to the summer school break.
I concluded that I needed to make a game plan before summer kicks off so I’d know what I needed to do to feel happier.
I wrote down how I wanted to feel and what would help me feel that way. It gave me some lightbulb-over-the-head moments and I began doing things a little differently.
I’m not normally one for hanging stuff on the fridge, but it soon turned into my summer
SelfishMother.com
3
command centre.
I created checklists for my kids so they knew what was expected and I could stop the burning resentment over being their unpaid servant.
I figured out what incentivised them and set up rewards so they earned the kinds of things I’d normally dish out mindlessly. Ice creams, films computer time, a game with me, going on an outing, later bedtimes…
It turns out my kids love rules (who knew?) and having clear lists of chores and rewards to aim for turned them into happy helpers.
My boys are 15 and 12 now and every summer when
SelfishMother.com
4
school breaks up I allow a couple of days of pure loafing around – then it’s time for our Summer Family Meeting.
I get them involved in creating some simple daily routines so I don’t have to be quite such a nagging bitch. (In the summer even teeth brushing needs to be written down or they can never seem to remember if they’ve done it.)
It’s a lot easier to say ‘Have you checked off your Morning List?’ than to say ‘Have you brushed your teeth? Cleaned your retainer? Made your bed? Put your dirty clothes in the laundry? Hung up your wet
SelfishMother.com
5
towel? Put your breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and put away the milk and cereal?’
And the rule is simple. You’re not touching anything electronic until you’ve completed your Morning List. And if you do, no more electronics for the rest of the day.
They know I’m the Queen of Follow-Through, so that makes it simple and easy.
If that sounds like I’m some kind of drill sergeant and my kids are required to wear orange jumpsuits and answer my every command, I assure you it’s not like that.
Kids are allowed to be kids and summer’s
SelfishMother.com
6
meant to be relaxing and carefree. There are a few basic requirements that that need to be met and they know I’m happier and more fun to be around when they do it – especially without being asked.
Plus I heap them with positive feedback when they do anything to help out or show kindness or respect. There’s a happier vibe in the house when no one’s feeling harangued or harassed.
If your kids aren’t used to written rules or expectations, don’t expect them to be joyous in their initial reaction, but once they see it all laid out in a
SelfishMother.com
7
positive way and begin to experience the benefits of earning rewards (including a happier you), it’ll all fall into place.
Start thinking now about what you want out of summer. Make a game plan going in, then enjoy the ride.
I’ve created a My Dream Summer worksheet to get you thinking about what you want out of summer.
It’s part of the Project Me ‘Summer Strategy Kit’ filled with 26 printable worksheets and charts to help you have your best summer yet. I’m giving it away for free this month.
Because every mother deserves a happy
SelfishMother.com
8
summer.
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Kelly Pietrangeli - 13 Jul 15
I love summer and I’m all for lazy, hazy days of drifting around without major plans.
But then I reach a point where it all kind of falls apart.
I turn edgy when I don’t get any proper ME time and I run out of steam when I’m the one they come to for absolutely everything.
Constant messes piss me off and I allow way too much screen time just so I can get stuff done.
The summer ends without the kids doing their summer maths homework, keeping up with their reading or piano practice.
I vow next summer will be different. But how?
This was an entry in my journal several years ago and it finally inspired me to get proactive and make some changes in my approach to the summer school break.
I concluded that I needed to make a game plan before summer kicks off so I’d know what I needed to do to feel happier.
I wrote down how I wanted to feel and what would help me feel that way. It gave me some lightbulb-over-the-head moments and I began doing things a little differently.
I’m not normally one for hanging stuff on the fridge, but it soon turned into my summer command centre.
I created checklists for my kids so they knew what was expected and I could stop the burning resentment over being their unpaid servant.
I figured out what incentivised them and set up rewards so they earned the kinds of things I’d normally dish out mindlessly. Ice creams, films computer time, a game with me, going on an outing, later bedtimes…
It turns out my kids love rules (who knew?) and having clear lists of chores and rewards to aim for turned them into happy helpers.
My boys are 15 and 12 now and every summer when school breaks up I allow a couple of days of pure loafing around – then it’s time for our Summer Family Meeting.
I get them involved in creating some simple daily routines so I don’t have to be quite such a nagging bitch. (In the summer even teeth brushing needs to be written down or they can never seem to remember if they’ve done it.)
It’s a lot easier to say ‘Have you checked off your Morning List?’ than to say ‘Have you brushed your teeth? Cleaned your retainer? Made your bed? Put your dirty clothes in the laundry? Hung up your wet towel? Put your breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and put away the milk and cereal?’
And the rule is simple. You’re not touching anything electronic until you’ve completed your Morning List. And if you do, no more electronics for the rest of the day.
They know I’m the Queen of Follow-Through, so that makes it simple and easy.
If that sounds like I’m some kind of drill sergeant and my kids are required to wear orange jumpsuits and answer my every command, I assure you it’s not like that.
Kids are allowed to be kids and summer’s meant to be relaxing and carefree. There are a few basic requirements that that need to be met and they know I’m happier and more fun to be around when they do it – especially without being asked.
Plus I heap them with positive feedback when they do anything to help out or show kindness or respect. There’s a happier vibe in the house when no one’s feeling harangued or harassed.
If your kids aren’t used to written rules or expectations, don’t expect them to be joyous in their initial reaction, but once they see it all laid out in a positive way and begin to experience the benefits of earning rewards (including a happier you), it’ll all fall into place.
Start thinking now about what you want out of summer. Make a game plan going in, then enjoy the ride.
I’ve created a My Dream Summer worksheet to get you thinking about what you want out of summer.
It’s part of the Project Me ‘Summer Strategy Kit’ filled with 26 printable worksheets and charts to help you have your best summer yet. I’m giving it away for free this month.
Because every mother deserves a happy summer.
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Kelly Pietrangeli is the creator of Project Me for Busy Mothers, helping women find a happier balance between the kids - and everything else.
Mixing practicality with self-awareness, Kelly helps mothers get on top of their endless to-do’s and see life beyond the laundry pile.
Running on solar power, Kelly lives in Spain with her husband and two teenage boys.