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You know the times when you become overwhelmed with to-do lists, are surrounded by heaps of washing, have towers of untouched ironing to get through and are constantly cleaning the house without any thanks?
The times when you have boring food shops to do and meals to prepare (knowing that my kids won’t even touch them) and are rushing around doing school drop-offs and pick-ups whilst trying to get just one thing done for yourself. The times when the weather’s dull and raining and you haven’t been out having fun for what seems like ages. The
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times when everything seems mundane…
I was going through one of those times recently. Then my husband and I got the most horrific news: our friend – one of my partner’s closest – had passed away. We were hit by huge thunderbolts of shock, grief and sadness. Life suddenly seemed bleak, confusing – totally and utterly cruel. And seeing my gorgeous, kind, loving husband so low, having lost someone so dear to him, was heartbreaking.
Almost a month on, and it seems like the sadness will never leave us. My partner, though, has been lucky in having
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a circle of good, solid friends by his side to support him. And watching them all rally round each other, whilst sharing photos and happy memories of their beloved friend, has taught me some valuable lessons. It has reminded me that friends are golden and we must never take them for granted. We should pick up the phone instead of just texting ‘Hope all well’ and presuming it is. We should go and visit friends more, rather than just meet up twice a year, as well as reconnect with the ones we haven’t seen in a decade. We need to tell close ones how
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we feel about them – how much they mean to us – even if they think that we’re bonkers in doing so. We need to have more fun with our friends and laugh lots. We need to talk to each other and enjoy our lives even more. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, celebrate with the friends who are doing well and be there for the ones who are going through tough times.
But mostly I have learnt that the mundane and ‘normal’ parts of my life – the chores, the kids driving me round the bend, the niggling daily to-dos – are actually something to
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be cherished. Normality is good. Normality means we are doing ok. That we are living life.
So, when I put my boys to bed, rather than rushing off downstairs to indulge in my kids-free-grab-a-glass-of-wine moment, I hug them a bit tighter and let them know how much they are loved. I kiss them more often. I sneak in on them at night just to watch them sleeping peacefully. Because these – the everyday things – really are the moments that are most precious. And all of us should cling on to them that little bit more.
Image: Mayur Gala
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Site Default - 3 Feb 16
You know the times when you become overwhelmed with to-do lists, are surrounded by heaps of washing, have towers of untouched ironing to get through and are constantly cleaning the house without any thanks?
The times when you have boring food shops to do and meals to prepare (knowing that my kids won’t even touch them) and are rushing around doing school drop-offs and pick-ups whilst trying to get just one thing done for yourself. The times when the weather’s dull and raining and you haven’t been out having fun for what seems like ages. The times when everything seems mundane…
I was going through one of those times recently. Then my husband and I got the most horrific news: our friend – one of my partner’s closest – had passed away. We were hit by huge thunderbolts of shock, grief and sadness. Life suddenly seemed bleak, confusing – totally and utterly cruel. And seeing my gorgeous, kind, loving husband so low, having lost someone so dear to him, was heartbreaking.
Almost a month on, and it seems like the sadness will never leave us. My partner, though, has been lucky in having a circle of good, solid friends by his side to support him. And watching them all rally round each other, whilst sharing photos and happy memories of their beloved friend, has taught me some valuable lessons. It has reminded me that friends are golden and we must never take them for granted. We should pick up the phone instead of just texting ‘Hope all well’ and presuming it is. We should go and visit friends more, rather than just meet up twice a year, as well as reconnect with the ones we haven’t seen in a decade. We need to tell close ones how we feel about them – how much they mean to us – even if they think that we’re bonkers in doing so. We need to have more fun with our friends and laugh lots. We need to talk to each other and enjoy our lives even more. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, celebrate with the friends who are doing well and be there for the ones who are going through tough times.
But mostly I have learnt that the mundane and ‘normal’ parts of my life – the chores, the kids driving me round the bend, the niggling daily to-dos – are actually something to be cherished. Normality is good. Normality means we are doing ok. That we are living life.
So, when I put my boys to bed, rather than rushing off downstairs to indulge in my kids-free-grab-a-glass-of-wine moment, I hug them a bit tighter and let them know how much they are loved. I kiss them more often. I sneak in on them at night just to watch them sleeping peacefully. Because these – the everyday things – really are the moments that are most precious. And all of us should cling on to them that little bit more.
Image: Mayur Gala
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Fiona Pennell lives in the Cotswolds with her husband and their two boys, Jack, 6, and Otto, 4. A former YOU magazine sub-editor, Fiona now spends her days being trampled on, going on slug hunts and dreaming of lie-ins. (Twitter: @fiona_pennell)