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Having a Bawl on Long Haul

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My husband and I are considering taking our baby to Hong Kong next year to meet extended family.

Whilst searching for advice on taking baby long haul, I came across lots of negative comments – parent bashing, if you like, saying that parents were selfish taking their kids on planes; Selfish because it annoys other passengers I’m guessing. It got me thinking about being a parent in this country.

For the first three months of my baby’s life, she had colic. The medical term for non stop ’unexplained crying’. Presumed to be connected to immature

SelfishMother.com
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digestive systems at that age. If she wasn’t feeding or sleeping, she was refluxing (is this a verb?) and crying. Going out was hard, mainly because of the looks I would get as if to say ’ can’t you shut your baby up?!’. There was nothing I could do to quieten her. As a first time mum, I felt embarrassed and stayed in a lot during that time.

As a more confident mum of a ten month old, I no longer stay in. I accept that my baby cries sometimes, as do all babies. For some reason in this country there is a real disconnect. Babies are embraced (or at

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least ignored) when quiet and smiley, but if they cry, the annoyance is felt all round and parents are judged sorely. I’m guessing I should really stay in with my baby until she’s 18.

To get on a train, heaven forbid in rush hour (even if it’s an emergency), you are selfish – as commuters have enough to deal with, they work for goodness sake (unlike mothers who just drink coffee with their friends all day – obviously).

To get on a plane ( chances are baby will cry at some point) you are selfish – as those hard working commuters deserve a break

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from working so hard (unlike mothers who just drink coffee with their friends all day – obviously).

To go to a restaurant is selfish – as hard working commuters want a break from cooking as they work so hard (unlike mothers who just drink coffee with their friends all day – obviously)……

One day you will be parents too – obviously. And all the judgement you place on us will then be placed on you.

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- 10 Aug 16

My husband and I are considering taking our baby to Hong Kong next year to meet extended family.

Whilst searching for advice on taking baby long haul, I came across lots of negative comments – parent bashing, if you like, saying that parents were selfish taking their kids on planes; Selfish because it annoys other passengers I’m guessing. It got me thinking about being a parent in this country.

For the first three months of my baby’s life, she had colic. The medical term for non stop ‘unexplained crying’. Presumed to be connected to immature digestive systems at that age. If she wasn’t feeding or sleeping, she was refluxing (is this a verb?) and crying. Going out was hard, mainly because of the looks I would get as if to say ‘ can’t you shut your baby up?!’. There was nothing I could do to quieten her. As a first time mum, I felt embarrassed and stayed in a lot during that time.

As a more confident mum of a ten month old, I no longer stay in. I accept that my baby cries sometimes, as do all babies. For some reason in this country there is a real disconnect. Babies are embraced (or at least ignored) when quiet and smiley, but if they cry, the annoyance is felt all round and parents are judged sorely. I’m guessing I should really stay in with my baby until she’s 18.

To get on a train, heaven forbid in rush hour (even if it’s an emergency), you are selfish – as commuters have enough to deal with, they work for goodness sake (unlike mothers who just drink coffee with their friends all day – obviously).

To get on a plane ( chances are baby will cry at some point) you are selfish – as those hard working commuters deserve a break from working so hard (unlike mothers who just drink coffee with their friends all day – obviously).

To go to a restaurant is selfish – as hard working commuters want a break from cooking as they work so hard (unlike mothers who just drink coffee with their friends all day – obviously)……

One day you will be parents too – obviously. And all the judgement you place on us will then be placed on you.

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