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Slow down, is a phrase I’m often heard shouting at my kids, mainly when they are travelling at speed on their scooters down hill. I think it’s fair to say that whilst I’m much better at dealing with anxiety these days there’s nothing quite like a trip to the park to set it off. It’s not just an aversion to speed or the fear of trips to A&E that make me want them to slow down it’s the speed in which they are growing up.
I can’t be the only one who still feels like a new mum nearly six years down the road and I can’t see that
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changing in the next ten. I’m still learning, adjusting, finding my way, but I’m not keeping up and worry I’ll be left behind. I look on with a mixture of pride, admiration and despair at how quickly my babies have turned into the amazing little people they have become.
But I can’t keep up with the ever changing goalposts. I certainly wasn’t prepared for navigating the school life shift. I never thought I’d say it but I miss the days when they were both in nursery, which is insane as I was practically bankrupt paying the fees but it all
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felt so much simpler.
Im finding as they grow so do the worries, it’s no longer a just a worry that they might have shoved another pea up their nose, (although that one may never go with my son) now my daughter is at school it’s worrying that she’s adapting to her new environment. That she’s equipped to deal with this new world, the one with lots of rules and expectations. It’s worrying that she has a friend to play with or that she has a hand to hold when she feels sad. It’s worrying that she’ll learn how to make friends and learn how
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to ignore kids when they are mean. For me it’s learning to let go a little and I’ll be honest, I think she’s adapting much better than I am.
Our lives are so fast now. We operate at an average of 100 miles an hour. Weekends are a whirlwind of parties, activities, play dates, classes, homework. The calendar is full for the foreseeable future, and I know if we keep travelling at this speed I’ll blink and be in the throes of the second wave of sleepless nights. The ones fraught with worry, the ones waiting for a teen to arrive home
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safely.
Im realising that I need to learn not how to slow it all down, but actually stop time. Learn to stop and be there in that moment without rushing ahead into the next thing. I need to learn how live day to day without fretting the next phase. I need to learn how to be a bit more like my children, and not worry about how fast we’re travelling but appreciate simply how much fun we can have on the way.
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Lou - 15 Feb 19
Slow down, is a phrase I’m often heard shouting at my kids, mainly when they are travelling at speed on their scooters down hill. I think it’s fair to say that whilst I’m much better at dealing with anxiety these days there’s nothing quite like a trip to the park to set it off. It’s not just an aversion to speed or the fear of trips to A&E that make me want them to slow down it’s the speed in which they are growing up.
I can’t be the only one who still feels like a new mum nearly six years down the road and I can’t see that changing in the next ten. I’m still learning, adjusting, finding my way, but I’m not keeping up and worry I’ll be left behind. I look on with a mixture of pride, admiration and despair at how quickly my babies have turned into the amazing little people they have become.
But I can’t keep up with the ever changing goalposts. I certainly wasn’t prepared for navigating the school life shift. I never thought I’d say it but I miss the days when they were both in nursery, which is insane as I was practically bankrupt paying the fees but it all felt so much simpler.
Im finding as they grow so do the worries, it’s no longer a just a worry that they might have shoved another pea up their nose, (although that one may never go with my son) now my daughter is at school it’s worrying that she’s adapting to her new environment. That she’s equipped to deal with this new world, the one with lots of rules and expectations. It’s worrying that she has a friend to play with or that she has a hand to hold when she feels sad. It’s worrying that she’ll learn how to make friends and learn how to ignore kids when they are mean. For me it’s learning to let go a little and I’ll be honest, I think she’s adapting much better than I am.
Our lives are so fast now. We operate at an average of 100 miles an hour. Weekends are a whirlwind of parties, activities, play dates, classes, homework. The calendar is full for the foreseeable future, and I know if we keep travelling at this speed I’ll blink and be in the throes of the second wave of sleepless nights. The ones fraught with worry, the ones waiting for a teen to arrive home safely.
Im realising that I need to learn not how to slow it all down, but actually stop time. Learn to stop and be there in that moment without rushing ahead into the next thing. I need to learn how live day to day without fretting the next phase. I need to learn how to be a bit more like my children, and not worry about how fast we’re travelling but appreciate simply how much fun we can have on the way.
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Mum of two, wife to one, friend to all.
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