Solo Mother Travelling: Selfish or Selfless

Victoria Lim - 19 Jul 18

Being a mother can take its toll on a woman. You are tired all the time, try to find some time for yourself but barely being able to and too many responsibilities leave you frustrated in the end. This is something that all mothers experience at one time or the other.

The secret of great motherhood is knowing to take care of yourself as well and finding the balance between solo time and the one you dedicate to your children. Not only that it’s good to take a break from being a mom, but you should also do something alone as a woman. One of the best ways to recharge your batteries is traveling and going on a solo trip is just what a mother needs.

Talk to your kids

Communication with your children is important from the moment they are born and it should continue for the rest of your life. If you sit down with them and explain to them that you will be away from home for a few days, that will help you and them accept the separation easier. Over time, you will all get used to your solo travels, but only if you make sure they understand it’s not a punishment.

Leave your kids with family

In most cases, grandparents can’t wait to spend time with their grandchildren, but it’s also a beneficial experience for everyone. Since they have a free time on their hands, they see it as a perfect opportunity to hang out with your children and spoil them, to some degree.

It’s good for children to spend time with other family members, like aunts, uncles, and grandparents to the very least. It will teach your children that they can trust other people and give them emotional stability. As for you, the very notion they are in good hands will allow you to truly enjoy your solo travel.

Your partner is a parent too

Although mothers are irreplaceable, your partner is a parent too. This means that certain responsibilities fall under their jurisdiction so they should be more than willing to stay at home with the kids while you travel.  You will also do them a favor and allow them to bond better and strengthen their relationship by spending time alone.

Paternity leave is something that is more and more practiced in the modern society and men are loving it. Families often praise this move by the governments in recognizing the important role fathers have in the upbringing of the children and support for the mother’s well-being after birth. So you see, you can count on your partner to do some parenting while you have some me-time.

Go on an active holiday

If you want to really experience your solo travel to the fullest, you have to try the newest trend of traveling – active holiday. You will relax and be physically active while also able to see all the beauties your destination offers.

For example, Blue Mountains trek in Australia offers a wonderful combination of amazing landscapes. The Three Sisters peak and Empress Falls waterfall are the main attractions, while you can take a dip in one of the swimming holes on your way or enjoy songs from various bird species living there.

Bali is also a great destination if you want to combine leisure time on the pearly beaches with hikes to the Buddhist temples and surfing. Yoga is an all-present activity in Bali so you can easily join one of the groups and eliminate stress from your body. Diving is another great activity for Bali holiday and you can see unique marine life that will certainly bring smiles to your face.    

Raise independent kids

Being independent is important for children and your travels can help with that. If you know your kids will miss you come up with some way to mitigate that. Teach them a mantra to say whenever you are traveling or give them your framed photo to look at before they fall asleep. If your children see that you are doing something you like and having fun, they will learn to respect that in their lives too.

Your children will gain more confidence if you let them handle the problems by themselves and show you that they’re growing up. Encourage their individuality and give them a nudge in the right direction, but giving them time alone is probably one of the best ways you can truly help them know the world.

A selfish or selfless act

You will always wonder what kind of mother are you – a selfish or selfless one. The truth is that we are all a little bit of both since it’s only human to love yourself and others at the same time. Leaving your kids at home while traveling the world doesn’t fall under these categories but is rather defined by the human necessity to live a fulfilling life.

If you feel miserable about yourself, that will soon be what your children see – an unhappy mother – and feel responsible. And the last thing you want is to leave your children feeling guilty or you to feel that way for something that is a normal human need – to spend some time alone.

Motherhood is often perceived as something that should chain you to your children when that will only stop all of you from building healthy relationships. You have to allow your children to get to know the world without you controlling their every move if you want them to grow up in independent individuals. Traveling solo doesn’t mean that you are a bad mother, but that you are actually a good one since your well-being is important too.

Victoria Lim

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