SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND?

Catherine - 16 Oct 14

‘Good weekend?’ I said to one of my friends in the school playground.
‘Oh yes’, she said. She went on to explain that her daughter had enjoyed a birthday party, both children had been to their swimming lessons, and they’d completed their homework.

That was it. No mention of what she had done, or her husband, or any time they had spent together. Just a report of what the children had done.

Now, I don’t mind hearing what the children have done. I’m quite interested. My daughters had probably enjoyed similar activities. I’m guilty of giving similar answers to that question, whether at the school gate, to the neighbours or at work.

But it made me think. If you asked someone without children what they’d done at the weekend, they would tell you what THEY had done. Not what some other family member had done. So why are parents (ok, particularly mums) any different? Why do we feel compelled to report back on our weekend activities through the eyes of our children?

It’s not restricted to weekend reports at the school gates. I realised this, when I opened a letter (yes, a real hand-written letter with a stamp on it!) from a long-time friend, and 90% of the letter was about her son. Potty training, nursery, social skills, birthday parties.
The truth is, having been a mum for 5 years now, while I adore my children, I don’t find other people’s very interesting. So when I ask someone what they did at the weekend, it’s because I want to find out what THEY did, not what their children did.

I’m not expecting daring and adventurous activities, such as parachute jumping or sky-diving – although one friend completed her first half marathon last weekend and another was going on an overdue hot air balloon flight.

It also touches on a bigger issue. That if we really haven’t done anything for ourselves at the weekend, then why not? Why haven’t we been able to carve out an hour for ourselves to read a book, enjoy the papers, have a haircut or go for a run?

It’s GOOD FOR US to have some time to ourselves. I LIKE a bit of time for myself. And I think it’s great for the girls to spend time on their own with my husband (their dad), so he can learn more about their likes and dislikes, their foibles, and they can chat away non-stop while he wonders how he’s going to finish his cup of tea.

My new resolution then, is to make sure I get some time on my own next weekend. And do something with it. And the next time someone asks me whether I had a good weekend choose to say ‘Yes thanks. I enjoyed the new Colin Firth film at the cinema and tried my first parkrun’. And hope they then might be inspired to answer my question in the same way.

My challenge to you, is to do the same. Take time for yourself at the weekend. But most importantly, next time someone asks ‘how was your weekend?’, answer in the first person. And tell them what you did. Not anyone else. Just you.

Catherine

Catherine Cannon, 40, is a Sustainability Manager and Fellow of CIWEM. She has two gorgeous daughters, Amelie is 6 3/4 and Isabelle is 3 1/2. She loves living in Chichester. She’s particularly fond of parkrun, Toastmasters, eating Montezuma’s dark chocolate buttons and going on holiday. A lot.

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