Sorry for the silence – I have been languishing

Suzy Wilson - 29 Jan 22

I have been silent – I haven’t put pen to paper, fingertip to keyboard for nearly a year. I have been pretty unproductive, unmotivated, living in what feels like some kind of half state. It’s been an odd time for everyone – and nothing seems to be changing fast (husband is currently shut in a room having tested positive, although I suspect secretly enjoying it – never has the box set of Game of Thrones been devoured so fast). It’s been a tricky year with the illness and death of my father and all the emotions and changes that has brought; my middle ‘child’ leaving home for university; working a lot less, partly through choice, in part by circumstances as well as a lack of social contact and regular meet ups with friends which haven’t yet seemed to return to a pre-pandemic norm.  On top of that, throw in January and the greyness we’ve lived under for the first part of 2022. A year ago, I wrote about the January Blues – I talked about how on a difficult day I was stomping around, feeling stroppy – I haven’t done that for some time.  Something else has taken over, a different state of mind, a resignation. It appears I am languishing!

My vocabulary is generally good, but this one word I appear to have misinterpreted.  Languishing always conjured up an image of someone reclining gracefully, perhaps in a silk dressing gown on a velvet chaise lounge. How wrong I was. I think in my head it had become muddled with words such as languid, languorous, listless – all of which mean lacking in energy; clearly I’d added my own touch of glamour.

While listening to a feature on the radio last year ‘languishing’ was the focus – describing an increasingly recognised condition, particularly during the (you guessed it) pandemic. The more I listened, the more I identified. It can be summed up by that non-word we’ve all both said and heard more recently – ‘meh’. As explained in the New York Times: “Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.”  In the same article it also received the questionable billing as the most dominant emotion of last year.

On a lighter linguistic note, frobly mobly is one more to add to your glossary for the current mood, as highlighted by dictionary corner’s Susie Dent. Quoted as one of her words of the day and dating back to Dickens’ times, it proves 18^th century folk could also feel simultaneously underwhelmed and swamped by life too. A little like when the French use the phrase ‘Comme ci, comme ca’, it’s defined as meaning ‘indifferently well’, neither up nor down, not one thing nor another and importantly when we ‘are in real need of sunshine’.

Today the bare branches outside my window are silhouetted against a pale blue rather than heavy grey sky – enough to start making a difference. The increasing light, both in the mornings and afternoons, is already noticeable. I will endeavour to languish less – or if I do I’ll throw on a silk dressing gown and invest in velvet sofa to make it feel a little better. I’ll keep you posted – if I can muster up the energy and motivation.

(Quote credit: Adam Grant, New York Times

Suzy Wilson

Suzy, a teacher and writer, lives near the coast in Hampshire with her husband, three children and Lola the schnoodle.

View profile for posts, events and more info