Stop asking if I’m having any more children, its none of your business!!
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With another royal baby just about to make its appearance, and the media has all ready started the buzz about how fast she will do it again after the birth of this child. Give her a minute, guys! She hasn’t even at the bloody thing yet!
As we know most people aren’t that lucky to fall pregnant so fast, with miscarriages happening to 1 in 4 women and the average time of conceiving being a whole year, I was as surprised about how fast Megan became pregnant after their wedding.
This got me thinking, that often after a wedding people
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start asking”when are you going to start a family?” I hate this question as it’s fully loaded and most the time the happy couple are left feeling awkward in their answers.
It’s the same as someone asking if you plan on having anymore children, its none of your bloody bees wax! Chances are the answer will leave both parties wishing they hadn’t asked.
I’ve talked ALOT about encouraging people to openingly talk about baby loss and miscarriages and this is why I hate these questions, you may not want to tell your story, are
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not ready or in many cases it’s because the other person is just being nosy, doesn’t know what to say and the “are you having anymore?” is up there with talks of the weather. Its fluff to fill a silence but it’s inappropriate and just has to stop.
My husband often asks this question and I away tell him off, he is genuinely interested in if the person is having children or more children but I explain to him, many times people don’t want to be reminded that they haven’t got there yet. I have no idea why people think it is perfectly
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OK to ask a woman about when they will be filling their womb, particularly after a couple has got married.
You just don’t know if this simple question will invoke pain, grief, sadness or frustration. They could be dealing with health issues, relationship issues, under stress or the timings are all wrong. They may be undecided on having children or in the in the middle of a battle as one of them doesn’t want them and the other heartbroken by this. OK, the question may not bring all this but I can tell you from my experience and the 3 long
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years of loss, heart break and disappointment before we welcomed our 2nd child into our family, it will more than likely will.
Chrissy Teigen, model and wife of musician John Legend, opened up about the couple’s fertility struggles on TV earlier this month.
Speaking to Tyra Banks, who has also spoken publicly about fertility, Teigan warned people about probing into other’s private lives.
”Anytime somebody asks me if I’m going to have kids, I’m like, ‘one day, you’re going to ask that to the wrong girl who’s really
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struggling, and it’s going to be really hurtful to them’,” Teigan said. ”And I hate that. So, I hate it. Stop asking me.”
So if you are a well meaning friend or a chatty mum in the playground, it’s really no bodies business but the couple involved. If the person wants to tell you they would tell you and if you really want to ask them, don’t. Sit back and let them be the ones to tell you first on their own, after all it’s their story and it might not be ready to be told yet.
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Mumforce - 19 Mar 19
With another royal baby just about to make its appearance, and the media has all ready started the buzz about how fast she will do it again after the birth of this child. Give her a minute, guys! She hasn’t even at the bloody thing yet!
As we know most people aren’t that lucky to fall pregnant so fast, with miscarriages happening to 1 in 4 women and the average time of conceiving being a whole year, I was as surprised about how fast Megan became pregnant after their wedding.
This got me thinking, that often after a wedding people start asking”when are you going to start a family?” I hate this question as it’s fully loaded and most the time the happy couple are left feeling awkward in their answers.
It’s the same as someone asking if you plan on having anymore children, its none of your bloody bees wax! Chances are the answer will leave both parties wishing they hadn’t asked.
I’ve talked ALOT about encouraging people to openingly talk about baby loss and miscarriages and this is why I hate these questions, you may not want to tell your story, are not ready or in many cases it’s because the other person is just being nosy, doesn’t know what to say and the “are you having anymore?” is up there with talks of the weather. Its fluff to fill a silence but it’s inappropriate and just has to stop.
My husband often asks this question and I away tell him off, he is genuinely interested in if the person is having children or more children but I explain to him, many times people don’t want to be reminded that they haven’t got there yet. I have no idea why people think it is perfectly OK to ask a woman about when they will be filling their womb, particularly after a couple has got married.
You just don’t know if this simple question will invoke pain, grief, sadness or frustration. They could be dealing with health issues, relationship issues, under stress or the timings are all wrong. They may be undecided on having children or in the in the middle of a battle as one of them doesn’t want them and the other heartbroken by this. OK, the question may not bring all this but I can tell you from my experience and the 3 long years of loss, heart break and disappointment before we welcomed our 2nd child into our family, it will more than likely will.
Chrissy Teigen, model and wife of musician John Legend, opened up about the couple’s fertility struggles on TV earlier this month.
Speaking to Tyra Banks, who has also spoken publicly about fertility, Teigan warned people about probing into other’s private lives.
“Anytime somebody asks me if I’m going to have kids, I’m like, ‘one day, you’re going to ask that to the wrong girl who’s really struggling, and it’s going to be really hurtful to them’,” Teigan said. “And I hate that. So, I hate it. Stop asking me.”
So if you are a well meaning friend or a chatty mum in the playground, it’s really no bodies business but the couple involved. If the person wants to tell you they would tell you and if you really want to ask them, don’t. Sit back and let them be the ones to tell you first on their own, after all it’s their story and it might not be ready to be told yet.
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Gail aka Mumforce, is a Scottish lifestyle / parenting blogger and a mum of two, based in Edinburgh.
After giving birth to 2 little darlings Gail focussed some attention towards rediscovering/discovering herself. Being a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother can take a lot out of the best of us. Whilst in amongst/ dealing with all the unpredictability’s in life it’s an easy thing to go into pilot mode/ forget to catch your breath and although bringing up another human being is arguably one of the most difficult challenges a human can be blessed with – “it can often be the case the we want more in respect to purpose, something that is just me”.
Gail is open about her mental health and hopes that through writing, honestly about her experiences she can allow others to open up and no longer feel alone. As well as talking/writing about her struggles with mental health, Gail blogs about daily life, women’s rights and issues that some are afraid to address. Throw in a few family outing reviews, product reviews and mum fashion and we have a very mixed bag which truly represents the addictive randomness that is Mumforce.
To begin with Gail found writing as a form of therapy and a hobby however through her literacy journey Gail’s lifelong pursuit of seeking acceptance has been redefined – “ I finally understood that it was self acceptance that was being sought and have since embraced every ounce of human emotion and solidified its presence through my words”. A unique character who we can all relate to who gives a fantastic reflection of the main battle we have in life, “the person staring back at me in the mirror”.
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