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Standing in the park the other day I had to check myself.
It was a beautiful English summer’s day, the sky blue, fluffy clouds etc – the kind us Brits can’t stop raving about. My husband Tom and son Rafferty were kicking a football about. Rafferty was exploding with laughter at every opportunity because he was having so much fun. Tom was all smiles. My 8-week-old baby, Max, was in the papoose, nestling against me in blissful sleep.
The scene couldn’t have been more perfect, but guess what? I was stressed. It was nearly midday and I felt tense
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that we should get home in time for Rafferty’s lunch, so that he could have his sleep, and so that I could feed Max before he woke up howling. The joke being that an hour earlier I’d been just as stressed about leaving the house so that we all could could get to the common with plenty of time.
As my mind reached a fever-pitch, I realised my shoulders were hunched, my brow was furrowed and I was so busy thinking that I was a million miles away. Tom and Rafferty might as well have been having a joyous kickabout on Mars, I was so far removed from
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it.
Instead of enjoying the moment, I felt tied to the unofficial routine that shapes my days now I’m a mum. You know, the eating, sleeping, playtime pattern we all vaguely follow – a watered down version of Gina Ford that sees all kids eat lunch at midday OR ELSE.
It’s pretty ridiculous, come to think of it. So I snapped myself out of it. I took some long deep breaths. I looked up at the clouds, at the urban-green landscape around me, and appreciated the amazing scene: our family having fun, in the sun!
You know what? I instantly felt a
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whoosh of happiness. This was a perfect life moment I’d been missing.
I’ve only read a few pages of The Power of Now, but if I go by title alone its message is bang on. As a mum it is so easy to ignore the present moment and feel governed by our routines (only last night I was cuddling Max, my mind more focused on it being past his bedtime than the baby snuggling against me). We wish days away on kids’ schedules, worrying about what’s next on the list to do – but, you know what? Constantly looking ahead doesn’t equate to happiness in the here and
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now.
Letting things slide and taking the time to stop, look and listen means we enjoy the little amazing moments that make up the fabric of life. We won’t look back and remember that our children ate lunch at the right time every day, but we will remember perfect moments outside, the sun on our skin and our happy, wonderful families just hanging out and enjoying themselves.
These are the times that matter, so why don’t we stop and enjoy them?
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Molly Gunn - 1 Sep 13
Standing in the park the other day I had to check myself.
It was a beautiful English summer’s day, the sky blue, fluffy clouds etc – the kind us Brits can’t stop raving about. My husband Tom and son Rafferty were kicking a football about. Rafferty was exploding with laughter at every opportunity because he was having so much fun. Tom was all smiles. My 8-week-old baby, Max, was in the papoose, nestling against me in blissful sleep.
The scene couldn’t have been more perfect, but guess what? I was stressed. It was nearly midday and I felt tense that we should get home in time for Rafferty’s lunch, so that he could have his sleep, and so that I could feed Max before he woke up howling. The joke being that an hour earlier I’d been just as stressed about leaving the house so that we all could could get to the common with plenty of time.
As my mind reached a fever-pitch, I realised my shoulders were hunched, my brow was furrowed and I was so busy thinking that I was a million miles away. Tom and Rafferty might as well have been having a joyous kickabout on Mars, I was so far removed from it.
Instead of enjoying the moment, I felt tied to the unofficial routine that shapes my days now I’m a mum. You know, the eating, sleeping, playtime pattern we all vaguely follow – a watered down version of Gina Ford that sees all kids eat lunch at midday OR ELSE.
It’s pretty ridiculous, come to think of it. So I snapped myself out of it. I took some long deep breaths. I looked up at the clouds, at the urban-green landscape around me, and appreciated the amazing scene: our family having fun, in the sun!
You know what? I instantly felt a whoosh of happiness. This was a perfect life moment I’d been missing.
I’ve only read a few pages of The Power of Now, but if I go by title alone its message is bang on. As a mum it is so easy to ignore the present moment and feel governed by our routines (only last night I was cuddling Max, my mind more focused on it being past his bedtime than the baby snuggling against me). We wish days away on kids’ schedules, worrying about what’s next on the list to do – but, you know what? Constantly looking ahead doesn’t equate to happiness in the here and now.
Letting things slide and taking the time to stop, look and listen means we enjoy the little amazing moments that make up the fabric of life. We won’t look back and remember that our children ate lunch at the right time every day, but we will remember perfect moments outside, the sun on our skin and our happy, wonderful families just hanging out and enjoying themselves.
These are the times that matter, so why don’t we stop and enjoy them?
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Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.
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