Stuff tradition and ditch the turkey.

Tracy gilmour - 12 Dec 16

It’s only a couple of weeks until the big day, you know when Saint Nic shimmies down the non existent chimney and we all marvel at the magic of a rather robust old man dressed in a funny red outfit breaking into our homes.  If it was any other person would be phoning the police?

I’ve never been a particularly organised mum.  This year I thought I was on the ball when it came to gifts but I’ve been kidding myself. It looks like a last last dash around the shops will be happening.  Last year, weeks after Christmas day I kept finding little gifts for my daughters that I had stashed away, seems I’m skilled in that department; stashing that is.

Then there’s the outfits, this Christmas jumper craze that persists and how we all need to damn well match.  Of course the eldest’s doesn’t colour co-ordinate with the rest of us so that demands another shopping trip.  Oh and of course there’s the school play which the eldest plays Mary in her acting debut and there’s no way I’m missing that. I’m not sure how early I need to turn up to battle for first row seats.

The youngest had no idea she was an angel in her play, neither did I for that matter but she done a great job none the less while another kid got in all the wrong places at all the wrong times.  I was just grateful it wan’t my kid for a change.  Although I’m always secretly proud when she gets up to no good; shows there’ a little bit of me in there.

You’re probably thinking I’m a misery guts when it comes to this time of year but I’m not, I love Christmas.  The lights, the music, the kindness and generosity that’s around in abundance.  I wish life in general was magical and kind more of the time rather than reserved for once a year.  You know when people actually take an interest and there’s a sense of fun and joy in the air.

I live on the other side of Christmas; the real life version where all isn’t quite so movie scene.  The separated parents having to make arrangements between each other so they can both share a part of their child.  The siblings separated because they live in a blended family. The tiny voices calling out asking where their sibling is (okay that’s my youngest I’m imagining) but it makes me feel like a guilty shit mum.

There was the whole drama last year of ‘is she isn’t she’ when it came to my eldest going to her dads.  She felt guilty at going and that made me feel guilty.  Yeah exactly. Our dinner ended up as a non event and the curry shop was called in to feed our hungry bellies.   This year I’m doing Christmas my way.  Quite frankly I’m well chuffed at that decision and sticking my middle finger up to the ‘shoulds’.

So for us, dinner and all the usual shenanigans will be a day early on Christmas eve.  Opening a present or two might even be Okay.  We will enjoy a family meal when we want to and not just because some old tradition tells us so.We will enjoy spending  time together doing it our way and creating our own family tradition.  I feel a little rebellious!

For years I had this illusion that we all put the tree up together as a family, smiling and singing along to Christmas songs until my partner pointed out that it doesn’t quite roll like that in our house.  It starts off as a family affair which soon descends into chaos and me shrieking ‘stop doing that to MY tree’ before refusing to let anyone near my festive creation.  I’m beginning to see that tradition has it’s own slant in our house.

So with a glass or two of cold Pinot Grigio, the tree went up.  The toddler demolished it and I resurrected it the next day.  So far between them, the kids have pulled all of the crackers and ate all of the candy canes.  A breakfast of chocolate has now become the norm.  The letters to Santa still haven’t been done, I will need to rope an uncle in to making the Santa call as yes, I forgot to book it, I haven’t even bought a card yet and I’m sure there lots more that I’ve forgotten about.

The lovely thing is though that it’s all feeling rather special and relaxed.  There’s no pressure and no drama.  We are looking forward to having a Christmas just the way we want it and that’s pretty special to me; spending time watching the delight on my daughter’s faces and stealing as many cuddles as I can.   So I will happily sit back and wave my middle finger at tradition but wish you a very merry Christmas however you go about it.

Tracy gilmour

Tracy Gilmour is an almost 41-year-old mum of 2 equally unique daughters Niamh, 10 and Ella, 3. With her partner Mark, they all live in Ayrshire, bonny Scotland. She set up The Warrior Mum Project to empower women to find their confidence, create their vision and then make it happen. She believes that a happy, confident mum makes for happy, confident children and thriving families.

View profile for posts, events and more info