Surviving the fourth trimester

Sophie Griffiths - 21 Feb 18

The 4th trimester is a period of intense, often conflicting, emotions and looking after yourself can often fall low on the priority list. However, to have enough energy to get through the day and enable you to focus on your babies needs and have time to bond and enjoy them as well, your needs to be bumped a little higher on the list. Just a few simple changes can make a huge difference to how you feel and how much energy you have.

Preparation: Before the baby arrives, when you hopefully have a few weeks of nesting and a little more time on your hands, there are a few things you can do to prepare for the 4th trimester which you will really thank yourself for when the baby arrives:

Batch cook: You’ve probably heard this one, its common advice for a very good reason- it’s an absolute lifesaver in those early days when cooking is the last thing on your mind. My extra tip would be to buy takeaway pots (the foil ones with the card lids, you can get them from supermarkets or Amazon), put the food in them and then write what is in the pot and *instructions for reheating it* on the lid. That way if someone else is sorting dinner they can get on with it without disturbing you. Plus, most of the dinners I made could be put in the oven to heat up (minus the card lid!), so you can heat, eat and throw the pot away. No mess #win.

Prepare on online shop: While you have a little time before the baby arrives and also the headspace to think logically about what you might need, go on to a supermarket website and do a shopping list for all the bits you need on a weekly basis (you know, bread, milk, snacks, squash, tea, coffee -you’ll have lots of visitors most likely so this will run out quickly!). Then, when the baby is here and you realise that you need a top up, you can go online, add it all to your basket and schedule it to arrive the next day!

Ask for vouchers: If anyone asks you if you want them to make you some food but your fridge and freezer are jam-packed (in the early days this is highly likely!) ask for vouchers instead. Supermarket or Cook (my personal favourite) vouchers are an absolute godsend 6-weeks in when you are still bloody exhausted but the stream of food being brought to the house has dried up and you still have no inclination to cook.

Side note: If you are going to buy Cook for yourselves, they do a 10% off card for new parents so make sure you fill in the form and get some money off!

Survival: Once the baby has arrived, try and think of little things that might make a huge amount of difference to how your day goes. In my experience the point that you start to think about eating/drinking the baby will go bat sh!t crazy and demand all your attention. In the early days, when I sat down to feed I could be there for up to an hour (sometimes more!). So being prepared before I sat down was critical so I didn’t feel ill from being too hungry or thirsty:

Think ahead about lunch: Every evening find 5 minutes when the baby is settled (or preferably either ask your partner while you rest!) to make a sandwich and put it in the fridge. Then the next day when you are starving but the baby needs feeding… bingo, you have a sandwich made, ready to eat one-handed!

Thermos flask: The lack of time to sit down to drink a whole cup of hot tea isn’t just a myth, it really is near on impossible some days. Invest in a thermos flask and if you make a cup of tea, you can drink it when you get a moment and it will still be hot!

Straw cups: Straw cups (the ones with the lid and a straw in the middle you probably had c.1992) are such a useful new mum hack. If you are breastfeeding you are likely to be SO thirsty all the time but feeding (especially when you need the baby in a really specific position in the early days) can make it tricky to get the right angle to drink out of a glass and not spill it on baby’s head. A straw cup means you don’t have to move your head at all! (a normal cup with a straw or a water bottle work equally as well, I’m just a sucker for novelty cups!).

Enjoyment: The 4th trimester can be intense and whilst some days will be all about surviving to the end of the day or when your partner gets home, if you can find some little pockets of time and energy to enjoy your amazing new baby and spend time getting some much-needed energy, you’ll start to feel a lot better. Here are some ways to free up some time and invest in yourself (whilst still being available to feed/comfort as needed):

Get a cleaner: Ok so I totally understand not everyone can just afford to get a cleaner but if you can make it work or a lovely friend/family member would love to gift it to you, a few hours a week for the first 6 weeks can really take that pressure off you to feel like you need to be sorting the house out. Use the time the cleaner is there, or the time you would have been cleaning to rest (or have a self-care moment like the one I’ve described below!).

Invest in a postnatal Doula: Another option which can be an amazing gift to yourself or from someone else is time with a postnatal Doula. This is especially relevant if you don’t have a close support network near to you. A postnatal doula can come to your house and support you by looking after the baby while you rest, doing some cooking, light cleaning or even just giving you someone to talk to. The Doulas I have met are incredibly knowledgeable and asking them little questions that have been on your mind can be really helpful.

Self-care moments: In the early days Eliza was a big feeder and I she was attached to me most of the day (and night). To be honest, the idea of having any kind of self-care moment seemed near on impossible. And then a lovely friend recommended a reflexologist who specialised in pre and postnatal treatments *and* she was mobile so I didn’t even have to leave the house. I booked a session and oh my goodness, it was so good. I could feed Eliza if needed but actually, she slept through most of the treatment, possibly picking up on my zen like state! It really helped rejuvenate me at a time when I thought sleep was the only thing that would help, this was a great investment in myself.

I’d love to hear any other new mum tips that helped you prepare for or get through the 4th trimester?

Sophie Griffiths

Mama to Eliza, lover of chocolate in all forms, prosecco fan and passionate about supporting new mamas from pregnancy and through their first year of motherhood. I have collaborated with some amazing experts to create an online support hub. A place for new mum's to find expert information they can trust as well as a community of mums for support. Launching in June, join The free, private Baby Bubble Facebook group to hear about the launch plans, speak to an expert live every Thursday and chat to mamas about everything from the best maternity bras to postnatal exercise and everything in between!

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