SWEET CHARITY

Molly Gunn, Editor - 2 Sep 23

Selfish Mother turns 10 this week. I had the idea in 2011 soon after having my first child. As a freelance journalist, I felt a deep need to feel like ‘me.’ Hold on, I thought, if I look after myself, I’m better equipped to look after him! I launched the blog in September 2013, a few months after my 2nd son was born. Within a few months, some blog posts went viral on Facebook (retro!) and soon I had 50,000 followers. When I heard that a Syrian hospital had been bombed, I decided to launch a charity T-shirt. I knew how to create T-shirts as my husband Tom had a brand called Millionhands, “You know your BELONG T-shirt?” I said to him, “Can you make it say MOTHER instead?” He was sceptical that it would sell but he did it anyway. I Googled ‘charity, women, war’ and found Women for Women International, transferring £300 when my first tees sold out. Our #GoodTees were born. Soon we had MAMA fundraising for Mothers2Mothers, HUMAN for the Refugee Council and Choose Love, PAPA for Prostate Cancer UK. Cancer Research got in touch. We did Save The Children’s Christmas Jumpers three years in a row, with the likes of Kate Moss and Sir Mo Farah modelling. John Lewis became a stockist. I moved to Bruton, Somerset, and opened The FMLY Store. The fundraising total rose. I had another baby, a girl! My Instagram grew past 100K. Celebrities wore our tops. Then, donations hit a cool MILLION. A MILLION POUNDS to charity. My work was done! By 2019 I was…. exhausted. I had three kids under 8, a staff of 10, a house, a warehouse and a shop to oversee, and a shaky marriage. Not to mention some massive HMRC bills. So I chose self preservation over drowning. I backtracked. I let the shop go. I let the team go. We sold our house, paid off some bills, and I refurbished the warehouse into our new home. Stripping it all back allowed me time to breathe and recover. I had been on a treadmill. In my heart: I’m a writer, not a boss! Over the last couple of years I’ve still been selling Selfish Mother sweatshirts but on a small scale, with no donations. Just getting us back on our feet. Money is tighter, but as I listen to the news I keep thinking: what a luxury my life is compared to others. I live in a safe place. I am a free woman. Meanwhile others are not free. The refugee crisis is growing. Boats capsize with people seeking a better life. If they don’t capsize, refugees are detained like prisoners. A recent boat sank was carrying Afghan women and children: in Afghanistan, women have no freedom. They aren’t allowed to travel, they aren’t allowed to learn, they are effectively enslaved. If I was an Afghan woman I’d want to escape. I’m the type of person who’d get on one of those boats. Women like me are now at the bottom of the sea. The system is broken. They weren’t asking for much. Just a safe home, food, comfort, security, education, work, and freedom. Refugees are humans, like us, who deserve a better normal, like us. So, now I’ve had my rest, I’m ready to go again! I’m re-launching Selfish Mother’s charitable element. I want to steadily take our fundraising total beyond its current £1,027,672. There won’t be the same hype and fireworks, but a drip feed of £5 from us to refugees (donating to Choose Love, initially), will help in some way. I’m focusing on classic slogans which don’t lose resonance: Super Woman, Winging It, Love, Mama. They might just be tops, but they are powerful. In fact, so powerful that through my original Mother Tee we supported over a thousand women in war torn countries to learn skills for a better life. I wonder where they all are now. I hope they are okay. I hope we can help more people have a better normal.

Molly Gunn, Editor

Molly Gunn is the founder and editor of Selfish Mother, a site she created for like-minded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out working on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for quality publications. She now edits Selfish Mother, sells #GoodTees to raise funds for charity, & writes freelance for Red Magazine and The Sunday Telegraph's Stella. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 6, Fox, 4, and baby Liberty. She is married to Tom aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live in Bruton, Somerset.

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