Ten signs it’s you who isn’t ready for school

Sian Evans - 16 Aug 15

There has of late been a lot of talk amongst my NCT group about whether our children are ready to start school in September. We’ve debated staggered starts, social preparation and whether size matters in the playground.

Yet I’m starting to suspect that behind all this nervous chatter lies a serious fear. Our babies are growing up and soon they will be flying the nest – the toddler one at least – and entering the next phase of their lives.

Suddenly, ‘The September of the Year He Turns Four’ is only a hop, skip and a jump away. I thought I had time to prepare myself, but already letters from school have started arriving – further taunting me about how fast life has flown since my baby boy arrived.

And with every school-related task I have to complete, the anxiety increases. The signs are there for all to see – it’s not just about whether our children are ready to start school, it’s also whether we’re ready for them to start.

So if you can identify with any of the warning signs below, you might not be ready either.

1. You still haven’t accepted a school place

A key milestone in any parent’s calendar is the date school places are published. Open days are attended, wish lists drawn up and carefully crafted supporting documents submitted to the first choice of school. On the day the places were announced, my heart was in my mouth from the moment I awoke.

And that’s when shit got real. Suddenly, the excitement of having my son’s school place confirmed was replaced with abject terror about making the wrong choice and the passing of time.

2. You can’t bring yourself to order the uniform

Having overcome the fear of commitment to one particular school, the next challenge to tackle is the mind-bogglingly complicated school uniform system.

We’ve been given a totally unrealistic deadline by which to order it, the size options don’t make sense and there is a staggering array of different types of school shirt to choose from. Do I go long sleeve for warmth or short sleeve to avoid dirty cuffs? What about a top button or Velcro tab? Iron on labels or spend three wine-fuelled nights sewing them in? These may sound like simple questions but they are keeping me awake at night.

3. The thought of parents evening makes you feel sick

No sooner had we accepted a place than the school correspondence started arriving. The most stomach-turning of these was an invitation to attend our first parents evening.

It doesn’t seem a minute since we were sending out birth announcement cards and first birthday invites. Now we’re checking work schedules and booking babysitters to enable us to meet his ‘grown up’ teachers for the first time.

4. You’ve regressed back to baby talk

My son is four. He confidently uses words such as reflection, complicated and incredifull (I haven’t the heart to tell him…). But lately I’ve started calling him “Baba” and speaking to him in an overly simplified way as though he were still a novice at this talking game.

He probably thinks I’m going mad but, somehow, it’s making me feel a bit less like he’s turning into a man before my eyes.

5. Time suddenly feels like it’s slipping away

As a child, the school holidays felt like a lifetime. Then, with age, time speeds up with frightening gusto until you start having children and realise you’ll never be able to keep up with life again.

So as the summer weeks fly by, September is fast approaching and I feel as though the time I have left with my son is slipping through my fingers. I know, I know – it’s only for a short day but it’s every day and every week until he reaches adulthood and makes his own way into the world.

6. You’re planning a school bucket list of things to do together

I’ve also been feeling a strong urge to pack as much as possible into the days we have left before the school term starts. I find myself suddenly desperate to go to our local petting farm, hang out at soft play centres and spend as much time as I can at our local park.

This is all because I know, come September, our time together will be tightly restricted to weekends and school holidays. And suddenly, that just doesn’t feel enough.

7. You’ve started resenting work

I have been fortunate enough to establish a flexible career that enables me to spend time at home. The down side of this is that it makes the idea of my son suddenly being away five days a week that much harder to accept.

The school clock is ticking and I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with him before he starts. So for the next few weeks, my work days feel tinged with sadness as I long to be at home playing Star Wars and building castles out of sofa cushions.

8. You’ve taken the baby clothes out of the loft

I used to wonder what it was about the first day of school that made my blubbing friends fill my Facebook feed with pictures of their little darlings all togged up in shiny new uniforms. Now I know, it is a sign the apron strings are loosening and our fledglings are moving towards being independent of us all together.

With this realisation, I decide to wallow in nostalgia by getting the baby clothes out of the loft.  As I bury my face in tiny sleepsuits, inhaling a heady mix of washing powder, faint remains of breast milk and that unmistakable baby smell, I feel a sense of loss and yearning deep down in the pit of my stomach.

9. You’ve been panic booking holidays outside of school term time

 Another shock to the system for rookie school parents is discovering you will never again be able to go on holiday as a family outside of term time.

So as you say goodbye to quiet(ish) sunbathing by a peaceful pool, you face up to the reality of a future filled with screaming, ice-cream infused children and paying hand over fist for overpriced flights and hotels.

10. You want another baby

As you come to terms with the idea of your children growing up, you may have noticed a funny feeling in your vacant nether regions. An unexplained yearning that hasn’t been there for a few years and rises to the surface whenever you see a newborn baby. Yes, that’s right, you’re getting broody again.

When people used to ask if I wanted more children, my husband confidently laughed it off saying he’d be fine at least until our boys started school. Now that time is here and he’s starting to look decidedly uneasy if I suggest an early night.

It is, of course, easy to look back on the early years through the proverbial rose tinted glasses. As I find myself reminiscing over the baby albums, I start to remember that it wasn’t all cuddles and coffee mornings. There were naptime battles, never-ending breastfeeding demands and I existed for the first two years in a constant sleep-deprived haze. At the time, it felt like survival.

So perhaps, rather than grieving for the years behind me, it’s time to celebrate the start of this exciting new chapter in my son’s life and help him look forward to the years ahead. After all, he’s only young once.

Photo copyright: Yup, that’s me!

Sian Evans

Sian is a PR director and freelance writer. She contributes articles on parenting and work / family balance as well as providing strategic planning and reputation management for brands and businesses.

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