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Tesoro mio
R: Was La Belle Aurore.
I: How nice, you remembered. But of course, that was the day the Germans marched into Paris.
R: Not an easy day to forget.
I: No.
R: I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
I can remember exactly what I was wearing that cold October morning. A long blue and white checked wrap skirt, a big fluffy white jumper, a long blue frock coat stopping me from shivering as I sat on the cold stones. The next time, I was wearing a different skirt with flowers and a black top
Why do we remember the small stuff? Is it just the way our brains are wired? Rick in Casablanca took in every detail of his time with Isla in Paris, it was branded in his soul. All the things that were grabbed together to keep the memory, like a hand clawing at a window ledge, trying not to fall. Every detail absorbed and stored away in a protective environment. Not too much moisture or heat. Very safe. The precious memory. Precious because it had a sense
The love two men shared for Isla in Casablanca is quite sobering. Her husband loved her so much he wanted her to flee Casablanca to the safety of the USA without him. Rick loved her so much he projected into the future, and decided for her that she would be happier with her husband in the States. Both loves
I’ve been wracking my brain for details about my chance encounter on Brighton Beach. Aside from clothing and geography, my memory does not want to
All this reflection started almost 22 years to the exact day that I first
I don’t believe in coincidence. I used the word just the other day in conversation with my children. They asked what it meant, and I’m ashamed to say I needed to look it up, as when it came to explaining I found I actually wasn’t sure. I needed clarity. It means: A
So, in other words, for my memory to be stirred and this to be a coincidence, it would mean my memory not being involved. As surely, that, right there is a causal connection. Right? Once the information is filed, it’s filed. So if it’s cross referenced then it’s not coincidence, there’s already a series of synapses connecting that file to other files.
If I’m right, and this definition is to be believed, then what happened to pop this memory into my head,
This is a rather far-fetched idea though really. That there are forces at work that we have no control of. Is it fate? Is it just the path I’m meant to be following? Was the path I was on all those years ago actually my true purpose? Have the years since been spent trying to find the map to get back to the place I recognised? The place I felt safe? The warm embrace of a place?
I have no way of
There are friendships that go for years, and even
But what of romantic love? Love is a different fish. Not known for it’s staying power once the moment has moved on. It’s
So what of my fleeting encounter,
It could be the kind that is ignited and stays burning quietly, unseen for years. So deeply hidden, but alive. Covered by the passing of relationships, New Years Eve’s, jobs, children, houses. But all along you carry it with you, in your heart. I carry you in my heart.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
E.E. Cummings
It’s looking like it’s the soul that’s responsible for all this. The soul that keeps these special things. The magical things. And it nurtures them. And maybe when you’re ready and the timing is right, it releases them back to you. Not in an obvious way. You have to figure that out for yourself. Your brain must catch up with your emotions, that’s important.
So the seed is planted, and the soul feeds it, and then when it’s grown strongly enough, it is let go. And it pops into your subconscious, and you act on it. And then, you stand back and watch with wonder what happens next. You are watching your true destiny unfolding before your eyes and you can’t take your gaze off it. It’s too beautiful and too bright to look at sometimes, and it fills your heart and your soul, and eventually, your mind and it’s the only thing that makes sense.
Now I’m reconciled with my
So, dear reader, I hope this finds you on a more solid place than a precipice of love. I hope you’re not holding on to the past but embracing
Yours, Carolina