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The Age of Anxiety

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Since becoming a mother I worry about everything, and I worry (!) that on some days worrying gets in the way of watching my girls grow up.

Before I became a mum I was an independent, sociable, globe-trotting indie-kid who wasn’t prone to worrying about anything in particular, yes I did have some sleepless nights over an exam or a two timing boyfriend but the worry never stopped me in my tracks like it does now.

The worrying began very soon after my eldest daughter was born when I started worrying that I was going to die. I focused in on a

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looming smear test and was convinced that it would bring bad news, which of course it didn’t but the worry prompted me to ask other new mothers if they too had started to worry about dying and surprisingly most of them had similar experiences. I began to think that this was maybe my minds way of adjusting to the responsibility of having a child but I also wondered if my mind couldn’t quite believe how lucky I was to have my beautiful daughter that it must think that something would have to go wrong.

I now have two daughters and worry and anxiety

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are always in the back of my mind just ready to take over my whole day. I worry a lot about my health and their health, my death or God forbid something happening to them, my career, my identity as a mum, household chores, my husband’s stress levels and the list goes on. There appears to always be something to worry about if you want to find it. The thing is I don’t want to worry anymore. I don’t want to waste my life worrying. But I think that in today’s society you can’t switch on a TV, iPad, smartphone, radio or web page without being
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bombarded with things to worry about.

I often ponder (worry) about my two girls and how they will deal with the constant barrage of bad news that will fill their ears and eyes when they are old enough to understand and ask questions. I will obviously tell them not to worry but I know that I need to start practising not worrying myself. The situation that we are currently in with regards to young people and body image shows how powerful the media can be in shaping our younger generations insecurities and fears and I am genuinely worried that if the

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media doesn’t curb its constant focus on bad news that our children won’t have the chance to grow up care free.

I’m determined that I’m not going to spend my life worrying and I feel a lot better since de-activating my social media accounts, staying away from a well-known gloomy tabloid website, not spending too much time watching News 24 and listening to news bulletins with some perspective. But every now again worry and anxiety clouds my thinking and I know that I need something more than an avoidance technique to live life to the full.

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I’m on a mission to find out what that is.

Does anyone else feel like this or should I worry that it is just me?!

 

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- 1 Sep 15

Since becoming a mother I worry about everything, and I worry (!) that on some days worrying gets in the way of watching my girls grow up.

Before I became a mum I was an independent, sociable, globe-trotting indie-kid who wasn’t prone to worrying about anything in particular, yes I did have some sleepless nights over an exam or a two timing boyfriend but the worry never stopped me in my tracks like it does now.

The worrying began very soon after my eldest daughter was born when I started worrying that I was going to die. I focused in on a looming smear test and was convinced that it would bring bad news, which of course it didn’t but the worry prompted me to ask other new mothers if they too had started to worry about dying and surprisingly most of them had similar experiences. I began to think that this was maybe my minds way of adjusting to the responsibility of having a child but I also wondered if my mind couldn’t quite believe how lucky I was to have my beautiful daughter that it must think that something would have to go wrong.

I now have two daughters and worry and anxiety are always in the back of my mind just ready to take over my whole day. I worry a lot about my health and their health, my death or God forbid something happening to them, my career, my identity as a mum, household chores, my husband’s stress levels and the list goes on. There appears to always be something to worry about if you want to find it. The thing is I don’t want to worry anymore. I don’t want to waste my life worrying. But I think that in today’s society you can’t switch on a TV, iPad, smartphone, radio or web page without being bombarded with things to worry about.

I often ponder (worry) about my two girls and how they will deal with the constant barrage of bad news that will fill their ears and eyes when they are old enough to understand and ask questions. I will obviously tell them not to worry but I know that I need to start practising not worrying myself. The situation that we are currently in with regards to young people and body image shows how powerful the media can be in shaping our younger generations insecurities and fears and I am genuinely worried that if the media doesn’t curb its constant focus on bad news that our children won’t have the chance to grow up care free.

I’m determined that I’m not going to spend my life worrying and I feel a lot better since de-activating my social media accounts, staying away from a well-known gloomy tabloid website, not spending too much time watching News 24 and listening to news bulletins with some perspective. But every now again worry and anxiety clouds my thinking and I know that I need something more than an avoidance technique to live life to the full. I’m on a mission to find out what that is.

Does anyone else feel like this or should I worry that it is just me?!

 

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Leanne is a 34 year old mum to Delia (5) and Agnes (3) and lives on a hill in Durham. Working in construction as a Bid Writer but dreaming of living free range somewhere with a tropical climate. She has had a career crisis, post-natal identity crisis and went round the world in three weeks. Leanne and her hubby Chris are on a quest to show their daughters the world and always have a holiday planned. She loves anything retro that she can squeeze in to her home and often gets asked ‘Is your mum or dad in?’ when she answers her door.

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