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Abbey Clancy, the dancing wag with the lips, has moved to the end of my street. I don’t know why she spells her name A B B E Y. She is an Abigail like me. I abbreviate to Abi. Abbey is almost as long as Abigail. Just two letters down. It’s not much of a saving. Besides, Abbey is where nuns live. The Abbess is the chief nun. It makes her sound like a building that houses nuns.
She doesn’t look like one. I do, comparatively. Some days I look at my reflection and think ’unyielding, old monolith’. Perhaps I should change my name to Abbey. I have
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often thought that this might be a good talking point should she and I ever meet. But, you see, I really wouldn’t want to meet her. Having a good look at that sort of person is okay through the glutinous prism of the Mail Online but in the flesh it could be an excoriating ordeal, especially on Bad Face Days. You know the ones: you are under-slept, raw-tired; your cavernous wrinkles swallow the litres of make-up that are applied to it. You’ll probably shout a lot and crash the car and have several misunderstandings.
I like to wear a hat on
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Bad Face Days. Some people think that hats make them look like twats. It’s true! Some will! Prepare yourself to look like a twat if you pick something that has cute ears, pompoms, flaps, bows, extended peaks or words. A fedora is twat-proof. It also shadows much of your face, which personally-speaking, is for the best, especially on BFDs.
My selection of the best fedoras are above…
Hats. Get in the habit, sisters.
*See more goodness by Mrs Bovary here
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Mrs Bovary - 13 Sep 13
Abbey Clancy, the dancing wag with the lips, has moved to the end of my street. I don’t know why she spells her name A B B E Y. She is an Abigail like me. I abbreviate to Abi. Abbey is almost as long as Abigail. Just two letters down. It’s not much of a saving. Besides, Abbey is where nuns live. The Abbess is the chief nun. It makes her sound like a building that houses nuns.
She doesn’t look like one. I do, comparatively. Some days I look at my reflection and think ‘unyielding, old monolith’. Perhaps I should change my name to Abbey. I have often thought that this might be a good talking point should she and I ever meet. But, you see, I really wouldn’t want to meet her. Having a good look at that sort of person is okay through the glutinous prism of the Mail Online but in the flesh it could be an excoriating ordeal, especially on Bad Face Days. You know the ones: you are under-slept, raw-tired; your cavernous wrinkles swallow the litres of make-up that are applied to it. You’ll probably shout a lot and crash the car and have several misunderstandings.
I like to wear a hat on Bad Face Days. Some people think that hats make them look like twats. It’s true! Some will! Prepare yourself to look like a twat if you pick something that has cute ears, pompoms, flaps, bows, extended peaks or words. A fedora is twat-proof. It also shadows much of your face, which personally-speaking, is for the best, especially on BFDs.
My selection of the best fedoras are above…
Hats. Get in the habit, sisters.
*See more goodness by Mrs Bovary here
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Mrs. Bovary is a brilliant illustrator, who lives in London and is mother to Hubert, 3. Discover her new greetings cards Atelier Bovary. Trust us you'll never want to buy any other cards again.
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