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The Curse of Three Sons

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I secretly always knew the day would come. The day the ‘curse’ of having three sons would fade away. Because genuinely that’s how some people see it. A curse.

 

“Three boys! What a nightmare”  

“ Oh I bet you’re demented” 

“I’m  so sad for you, to have a daughter is to have a best friend for life and you’ll never have that.”

 

These are all things which have been said to me. Sometimes by close friends and family members, often by complete strangers in Sainsbury’s. Each time it has felt like a

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punch in the stomach. Each time I’ve had no choice but to be defensive of my (undeniably feral) boys; which in turn usually rewards me with a pitying look which screams;  “Oh bless her; she’s so touchy about it. She really wishes one of them was a girl.” I’ve wanted to scream at them that they don’t know what they’re bloody missing! That life with three sons is a laugh-a-friggin-minute… but each time I have it’s left me feeling sore; because really why should any mother have to justify the joy her own children bring (or some days do not
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bring) to her.

 

I always had a feeling my time of sweet vindication would come. I thought perhaps the true beauty of having three boys might be revealed when they were handsome swaggering teenagers, hitting the town together. Or perhaps when they were ‘best men’ at each others’ weddings, leaving not a dry eye in the reception venue… It turns out I didn’t have to wait that long.

 

Lockdown was all it took. 

 

The joy of  three scruffy boys who neither want nor need anything more but to be together, kicking a

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football, climbing trees, building dens, laughing loudly; it has been a beauty to behold.They don’t need things, they don’t even need much attention at all. They just needed freedom to roll around in the dirt together with nowhere in particular they had to be.

They’ve allowed me masses of time to work because they are just happy being in each others company, meaning that I have a clarity of mind I haven’t had in a long long time; lost as I was in the hectic frenzy of everyday life. 

Six weeks in; I haven’t heard ‘I’m bored’

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once.

 

I’m sure those Mums of girls are having a great time too (although I hear whispers that there is a lot of crafting being done).  I’m sure those much-lauded ‘one of each’ Mums are loving being at home with their children (although I hear whispers that their kids won’t play together and they’re desperately missing their school mates)… but I wouldn’t swap my terrible trio for the world and I take no pleasure in knowing some Mums are finding things trickier.

 

After all of this imposed time on our hands I hope

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we have all reassessed our value systems and how our throwaway interactions with people (along the lines of; “Oh three boys, you poor poor woman”) say a lot about us. I hope when we come out of the other side of this people, especially fellow Mums,  will be kinder to each other. Hopefully  we’ll value our little people for exactly what they are and celebrate each family’s individual dynamic, knowing how lucky we were to have had a family to be locked-down with at all.
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- 29 Apr 20

I secretly always knew the day would come. The day the ‘curse’ of having three sons would fade away. Because genuinely that’s how some people see it. A curse.

 

“Three boys! What a nightmare”  

“ Oh I bet you’re demented” 

“I’m  so sad for you, to have a daughter is to have a best friend for life and you’ll never have that.”

 

These are all things which have been said to me. Sometimes by close friends and family members, often by complete strangers in Sainsbury’s. Each time it has felt like a punch in the stomach. Each time I’ve had no choice but to be defensive of my (undeniably feral) boys; which in turn usually rewards me with a pitying look which screams;  “Oh bless her; she’s so touchy about it. She really wishes one of them was a girl.” I’ve wanted to scream at them that they don’t know what they’re bloody missing! That life with three sons is a laugh-a-friggin-minute… but each time I have it’s left me feeling sore; because really why should any mother have to justify the joy her own children bring (or some days do not bring) to her.

 

I always had a feeling my time of sweet vindication would come. I thought perhaps the true beauty of having three boys might be revealed when they were handsome swaggering teenagers, hitting the town together. Or perhaps when they were ‘best men’ at each others’ weddings, leaving not a dry eye in the reception venue… It turns out I didn’t have to wait that long.

 

Lockdown was all it took. 

 

The joy of  three scruffy boys who neither want nor need anything more but to be together, kicking a football, climbing trees, building dens, laughing loudly; it has been a beauty to behold.They don’t need things, they don’t even need much attention at all. They just needed freedom to roll around in the dirt together with nowhere in particular they had to be.

They’ve allowed me masses of time to work because they are just happy being in each others company, meaning that I have a clarity of mind I haven’t had in a long long time; lost as I was in the hectic frenzy of everyday life. 

Six weeks in; I haven’t heard ‘I’m bored’ once.

 

I’m sure those Mums of girls are having a great time too (although I hear whispers that there is a lot of crafting being done).  I’m sure those much-lauded ‘one of each’ Mums are loving being at home with their children (although I hear whispers that their kids won’t play together and they’re desperately missing their school mates)… but I wouldn’t swap my terrible trio for the world and I take no pleasure in knowing some Mums are finding things trickier.

 

After all of this imposed time on our hands I hope we have all reassessed our value systems and how our throwaway interactions with people (along the lines of; “Oh three boys, you poor poor woman”) say a lot about us. I hope when we come out of the other side of this people, especially fellow Mums,  will be kinder to each other. Hopefully  we’ll value our little people for exactly what they are and celebrate each family’s individual dynamic, knowing how lucky we were to have had a family to be locked-down with at all.

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Frazzled, frantic mother of three little boys. We live on the north east coast and I blog about the ridiculous minutiae of our everyday lives. I know everyone reckons their kids are funny...but seriously...mine are the funniest. If you enjoy my blogs, there are loads more little snippets of craziness (at the expense of my unsuspecting husband and kids) over on www.facebook.com/pearlsofkiddom or you can check out my website which is www.thegoodthingisthough.co.uk Hope to see you there :)!x

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