The Dastardly Allure of Technology

Anniki Sommerville - 7 Jun 16

Like most Mums I sometimes read articles about screens and children. Most of these are pretty alarmist and point out that your child should only have a set amount of ‘screen time’ every day. If you flout these recommendations then your children will turn into zombies/have no imagination/end up with deep-rooted psychological problems. And I think this generation, our generation is the first one that’s having to navigate this more complex, technological world. In the future we will float in space, screens projected from our helmets and slurp liquidised avocado. None of it will be an issue anymore.

I know my Mum never sweated about screens. There was only one and it was the tiny TV with no remote. Besides the decision was taken out of her hands as kid’s TV was only on for a finite amount of time. There was a tiny window of fun (in the afternoons, Saturday mornings) and the rest was DULL DULL DULL. Men with beards doing sums on chalk boards. Dog training programmes.  This was before four zillion channels and Planners and IPlayers.

We simply had to do other stuff (for me this was chiefly repeating I’M BORED over and over).

Now we have screens. Phones. TVs. Our beloved IPads. I’ve been in restaurants and seen kids transfixed and felt a wave of anxiety.  Should parents be chowing down their Wagamama delights whilst their kids consume endless CBeebies? Is it more educational than thrusting a napkin at them and telling them to make a aeroplane? Is it better than letting them put noodles in their hair and run around screaming?

Does ‘recommended screen time’ include ALL SCREENS?  What if you give your child an IPad but later they have TV and a tiny bit of phone? Is the phone bad because it’s smaller and you have to squint? Is looking at nice family photos better than looking at a mammoth TV screen with the dishy one from CBeebies telling all about bats and their magical ears? What about films? What about a Frozen every day? Bad?

All the conversations I have with parents are similar in that NO ONE has a clear answer.  ‘We only allow IPad on Saturday,’ ‘No IPad until they’re sixteen,’, ‘No TV in the morning,’ ‘Films are okay but not games,’ ‘CBeebies is allowed but not films.’ And I have one friend and they have NO SCREENS at home.  Can you imagine?

For me IPad is okay when I need a shower. It’s also okay as I frantically try to do sit ups in preparation for an upcoming girls holiday in Palma (too little too late I hear you cry). Films are okay…well films are A LIFESAVER whenever tiredness/bad weather/early mornings crop up (which is every other day).

The thing is screen time isn’t just an issue for our children.

My daughter and I were on the train last week and she asked for my phone.

‘Look out the window,’ I instructed, ‘Look at the houses racing by.’

‘But Mummy what are all the people doing?’

Each person was fully absorbed in their phone/laptop and IPad. Each person was chuckling/frowning/bored by their screen. All had clearly exceeded their recommended daily allowance.

‘They’re all working,’ I lied.

She studied them intently.

‘I want to work,’ she said with a sigh.

I tried to look outside. I focused on the trees. The sun dazzled me for a moment. I reached for my phone.

Anniki Sommerville

I'm Super Editor here at SelfishMother.com and love reading all your fantastic posts and mulling over all the complexities of modern parenting. We have a fantastic and supportive community of writers here and I've learnt just how transformative and therapeutic writing can me. If you've had a bad day then write about it. If you've had a good day- do the same! You'll feel better just airing your thoughts and realising that no one has a master plan. I'm Mum to a daughter who's 3 and my passions are writing, reading and doing yoga (I love saying that but to be honest I'm no yogi).

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