The Dreaded Threenager

Fitmumclub - 20 Jan 16

Following a discussion with my ex husband last week about Arabella’s intermittent ‘challenging’ behaviour, he enlightened me to the Neologism that is ‘Threenager’ (I promised I would give him the credit for this). So ‘Threenager’ the combination of a Three and the attitude of a Teenager, this pretty much hits the nail on the head with regards to the behaviour of a three year old.

By the age of three most children (please tell me it’s not just mine) have started to form rather a large opinion about most things in life, this has progressively grown over the last year for us, but I feel I was never warned. The threat of ‘The terrible twos’ is stressed to you by friends, family and mummy bloggers but where the hell is the warning about the ‘Threenager’.

One day last week I got rather close to loosing my rag, some of the behaviour I saw genuinely frightened me to think that she will get bigger (probably bigger than me at a mere 5’3) and be that mean and bigger than me, I don’t stand a chance! The main behavioural challenge is that at the age of three you can’t make children do things they don’t want to do:

‘Please can you go and brush your teeth – No I don’t want to brush my teeth!’

‘Please can you help mummy tidy up the toys – No I’m tired and I can’t help’

‘Please can you eat your supper – No I don’t like it (Food gets thrown on the floor)’

I won’t go on but the theme is pretty apparent, don’t get me wrong on the whole Arabella is very well behaved and polite (if a little outspoken, no idea where she gets that from:-)) but every now and again we have a day where I genuinely question what we could have done wrong as parents to create such a diva.

The hardest part about the protests to doing something they don’t want to do is that they have the ability to walk, run and then in turn run away from you. When they were babies they went everywhere with us, no drama, in and out of the car seat buggy etc. but now if she doesn’t want to go she literally won’t!

The best advice I was given by a good friend of mine about a year ago when dealing with ‘The Terrible Two’s’ was that rather than telling them what to do, give them a decision to make so there is an involvement for them. Prime example rather than ‘Arabella please can you put your clothes on’ we now do ‘Arabella which trousers would you like to wear today, the jeans or the cords?’ problem solved (well on the hole it’s solved, we still have days where she literally won’t change out of her pyjamas).

I did some reading up on this theory and found this interesting article on ’10 signs you are living with a Threenager’:

1. You live in constant fear of how to cut the shape of their sandwich or toast. Do they want triangles today, rectangles, squares? And when they do tell you, they change their mind right after you cut it.

2. They say things like (with hands firmly placed on hips), “I don’t want to clean up, I want to do what I want to do!”

3. You go through three or more wardrobe changes a day. Please just pick a princess already!

4. Your child goes boneless the second you remind them that a transition is coming, especially when they are asked to stop playing. By the way, when was this ability given to children? You know, lay limp and double your body weight so mom can’t move you. It’s a talent reminiscent of a possum playing dead…

5. They run away from you when it’s time to get dressed, or leave a play place, or do anything they deem unnecessary. In fact running away from you is their favorite activity.

6. To nap or not to nap, that is the question. A threenager’s answer will always be emphatically “NO!” Unless of course it’s time for school, and they crawl into bed because they’re “tired.”

7. They want three of everything because they are three.

8. At red lights they yell, “Go… GOOO!” Threenagers do not possess patience.

9. Speaking of the car, you have to leave 10 minutes earlier so they can buckle their own car seat by their “OWN SELF!”

10. You realize they’ll be a great trial lawyer one day when they’ve just negotiated their way out of a time-out.

I was in hysterics reading this because I can relate to every single point, in particular the comment about them having to do everything themselves, I have genuinely spent ten minutes in the hallway watching Arabella getting crosser and crosser in an attempt to do up the zip on her hoodie ‘On her Rown’ without being allowed to help.

So mums we are not alone, take a deep breath, try to see the funny side and if all else fails I find soft play an absolute saviour to get rid of unwanted energy and attitude.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to follow the blog www.fitmumclub.com

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