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The F word…

1
Turning 40. It’s one of those milestone birthdays that can mess with your head. Get you thinking seriously about your health, your future, where the time has gone and what the actual heck you’ve done that’s worthwhile with it.
I had these ideas, these goals I set myself for what I wanted 40 to look like for me. One of which was to finally return to that pre-baby, 20s body. To be slim and strong and fresh-faced. To start the next 40 in style.

That, sadly, has not happened.

Whether it was fattening the curve in lockdown, the exhaustion and

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biscuit habits a sleep-dodging baby brings, a snail-speed metabolism, heavy gin reliance or the conspiring of my sheer mindless complacency and a damn comfortable sofa, it’s done. I am where I am and regrettably do NOT resemble one of those 40 year olds who look like they’re regenerating.

But instead of going down the fun old shame spiral (yet again), I thought I’d use this milestone as a chance to break the body-hating habit of a lifetime. Change my head instead of my bod. Start to cultivate a little more gratitude for the good stuff I have going

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on. So here it is.

I am incredibly thankful for this body of mine, podgy thighs and all. It has coped with my binge-drinking 20s (special mention for those pints of snakey-b and aftershock shots at uni), suffered waaaay too much midday sun in various hot countries (factor 8? Really 21-year-old me?), tolerated multiple mad exclusion diets and short-lived excersise fads, muddled through a tough mudder (with a side of mild electrocution) endured two bouts of extreme hyperemesis, three pregnancies, successfully grown and fed two amazing, healthy babies,

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navigated sleeplessness, stress, anxiety attacks, and is currently (fingers crossed) surviving a pandemic.

Yes it might not be my size 12 dream but this strong and resilient house I live in is pretty fecking marvellous really.

So thanks, body of mine. I wouldn’t change you for the world. Here’s to the next 40, let’s start it in style. In our own slightly wobbly, wonderful way.

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- 23 Sep 20

Turning 40. It’s one of those milestone birthdays that can mess with your head. Get you thinking seriously about your health, your future, where the time has gone and what the actual heck you’ve done that’s worthwhile with it.

I had these ideas, these goals I set myself for what I wanted 40 to look like for me. One of which was to finally return to that pre-baby, 20s body. To be slim and strong and fresh-faced. To start the next 40 in style.

That, sadly, has not happened.

Whether it was fattening the curve in lockdown, the exhaustion and biscuit habits a sleep-dodging baby brings, a snail-speed metabolism, heavy gin reliance or the conspiring of my sheer mindless complacency and a damn comfortable sofa, it’s done. I am where I am and regrettably do NOT resemble one of those 40 year olds who look like they’re regenerating.

But instead of going down the fun old shame spiral (yet again), I thought I’d use this milestone as a chance to break the body-hating habit of a lifetime. Change my head instead of my bod. Start to cultivate a little more gratitude for the good stuff I have going on. So here it is.

I am incredibly thankful for this body of mine, podgy thighs and all. It has coped with my binge-drinking 20s (special mention for those pints of snakey-b and aftershock shots at uni), suffered waaaay too much midday sun in various hot countries (factor 8? Really 21-year-old me?), tolerated multiple mad exclusion diets and short-lived excersise fads, muddled through a tough mudder (with a side of mild electrocution) endured two bouts of extreme hyperemesis, three pregnancies, successfully grown and fed two amazing, healthy babies, navigated sleeplessness, stress, anxiety attacks, and is currently (fingers crossed) surviving a pandemic.

Yes it might not be my size 12 dream but this strong and resilient house I live in is pretty fecking marvellous really.

So thanks, body of mine. I wouldn’t change you for the world. Here’s to the next 40, let’s start it in style. In our own slightly wobbly, wonderful way.

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