The father of your children can’t read your mind
1
I was naive before having a child. I had gone through hard times in my life so when people said that being a mum is the hardest thing you’ll ever do I thought to myself, yeah right, if I can get through life I can get through the joys of having a cute bundle that was mine. I was one of those people who talked to little kids in the supermarket because I loved babies so much and wanted one so badly.
When my son was born I was thrown into reality. He was 1 month prem, stayed in the hospital for 10 days after birth due to a fast labour and learned to feed
SelfishMother.com
2
with a bottle, so breast-feeding consisted of pumping for 2 months until I had a break down. He also had reflux issues so seemed to cry constantly for 3 months.
Just to put it lightly it was truly the hardest thing I had ever done or gone through.
But from day 1 my husband was there, supportive, helpful, sharing night feeds so I could sleep. And in all that he was going through his own post natal depression. He had never even held a baby before, let alone looked after one. It was a shock for both of us.
But we co-parent, have
SelfishMother.com
3
equally shared parenting, whatever you want to call it. Shouldn’t we? The kid is half his too.
We have communicated. Tested out routines that work for us both. He has quit his job and is working from home starting a business which he has always wanted to do. We have to watch our finances but having him home is priceless. We share night feeds and if we need a break from the standard routines we talk about it and work out which night works best around both our work for a change. I’ve taken on some casual work also which I can do from home and
SelfishMother.com
4
those days my husband is full time dad. We don’t do things 50/50 – we do things that work for us day by day. And support each other 100%.
So as you can imagine when I read things about how dads work full time and so don’t need to do anything around the house or look after the kinds I get mad. Surely in this day and age most men don’t think like this? I don’t have any daddy friends who think like this! Where are they? Is it just women taking on too much or thinking to be a good mum they need to be doing everything or are dads really refusing
SelfishMother.com
5
to help out?
My hubby and a lot of other dads we know are interested in looking after their children and helping out after work with housework, cooking, children and supporting their wives. I’m sorry if the father of your children is not as supportive as you would like, or think they don’t need to do anything because they work and that’s enough. If I were you, I would leave his washing dirty and let him cook his own dinner. Just tell him you just didn’t have time to do it today. He’ll soon respect you more.
You shouldn’t assume men
SelfishMother.com
6
don’t want to help out with parenting. If you need more support from your partner, then ask for it. Men are notorious for not being able to read minds.
SelfishMother.com
This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?
Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can for free and post immediately.
We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)
Kerrianne Jenkins - 9 Mar 16
I was naive before having a child. I had gone through hard times in my life so when people said that being a mum is the hardest thing you’ll ever do I thought to myself, yeah right, if I can get through life I can get through the joys of having a cute bundle that was mine. I was one of those people who talked to little kids in the supermarket because I loved babies so much and wanted one so badly.
When my son was born I was thrown into reality. He was 1 month prem, stayed in the hospital for 10 days after birth due to a fast labour and learned to feed with a bottle, so breast-feeding consisted of pumping for 2 months until I had a break down. He also had reflux issues so seemed to cry constantly for 3 months.
Just to put it lightly it was truly the hardest thing I had ever done or gone through.
But from day 1 my husband was there, supportive, helpful, sharing night feeds so I could sleep. And in all that he was going through his own post natal depression. He had never even held a baby before, let alone looked after one. It was a shock for both of us.
But we co-parent, have equally shared parenting, whatever you want to call it. Shouldn’t we? The kid is half his too.
We have communicated. Tested out routines that work for us both. He has quit his job and is working from home starting a business which he has always wanted to do. We have to watch our finances but having him home is priceless. We share night feeds and if we need a break from the standard routines we talk about it and work out which night works best around both our work for a change. I’ve taken on some casual work also which I can do from home and those days my husband is full time dad. We don’t do things 50/50 – we do things that work for us day by day. And support each other 100%.
So as you can imagine when I read things about how dads work full time and so don’t need to do anything around the house or look after the kinds I get mad. Surely in this day and age most men don’t think like this? I don’t have any daddy friends who think like this! Where are they? Is it just women taking on too much or thinking to be a good mum they need to be doing everything or are dads really refusing to help out?
My hubby and a lot of other dads we know are interested in looking after their children and helping out after work with housework, cooking, children and supporting their wives. I’m sorry if the father of your children is not as supportive as you would like, or think they don’t need to do anything because they work and that’s enough. If I were you, I would leave his washing dirty and let him cook his own dinner. Just tell him you just didn’t have time to do it today. He’ll soon respect you more.
You shouldn’t assume men don’t want to help out with parenting. If you need more support from your partner, then ask for it. Men are notorious for not being able to read minds.
Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!
Why not , too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!
My name is Kerrianne Jenkins and I am trying to be a mother, wife, employed person, crafter, friend, individual. I have 1 son who came into the world July 2016. I live in Melbourne and love it.
LIST 
