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View as: GRID LIST

THE GREAT UNWASHED

1
A few years back, when I was 27
Days for me were a freebie heaven
As Shopping Editor on a glossy mag
I was given amazing beauty swag

My bathroom looked like a beauty hall
I had a quest to be beautiful
Every day I slapped on products galore
Think Chanel, Clinique and Decleor

I spent one evening preening a week
Immacing bodyhair to keep myself sleek
I burned expensive sweet-smelling candles
And wore Slendertone on my love-handles

I had massages, facials and leg-waxes
And took myself home in London Taxis
My blow-dried hair looked

SelfishMother.com
2
super-chic
And I believed in 8-hours beauty-sleep

BUT OH THINGS HAVE ALTERED!
My quest has now faltered
As a mum with 3 kids it clearly seems
My former life was a thing of dreams

Now I laugh in the face of beauty-sleep!
I buy myself products, so long as they’re cheap
My ‘beauty routine’ is lacklustre:
face-wash and cream is all I can muster

I wash in a bath I share with my boys
Which contains some wee & plastic toys
I slap on some of their Gruffalo Wash
As they climb on me with a mighty splosh

It takes two minutes to ‘do

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3
my face’
& every morning it feels like a race
To make myself just about passable
And get my children off to school

I try to disguise my lack of gloss
With lipstick; Rimmel by Kate Moss
Pulling greasy hair in a pony-tail
I ignore my glaring beauty fails

As my baby begs to have a cuddle
I leave the bathroom in a muddle
I rush out the door just happy I’m dressed
And ignore the fact I feel like a mess

Yes, I’m not as polished as when I was 27
But now I enjoy a different heaven
There’ll be time for preening when I’m 55
And

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4
then I’ll look back all misty-eyed…

To when my days were so damn busy
And I didn’t have any time for ME
That I wrinkled my face with daily laughter
Thanks to the kids that I looked after

I’m spending my time in the line of duty
And while it’s chaotic… it’s a thing of beauty!
Yes my grooming routine is far from posh
But I’m happy being THE GREAT UNWASHED.

 

 

SelfishMother.com

By

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- 30 Sep 14

A few years back, when I was 27
Days for me were a freebie heaven
As Shopping Editor on a glossy mag
I was given amazing beauty swag

My bathroom looked like a beauty hall
I had a quest to be beautiful
Every day I slapped on products galore
Think Chanel, Clinique and Decleor

I spent one evening preening a week
Immacing bodyhair to keep myself sleek
I burned expensive sweet-smelling candles
And wore Slendertone on my love-handles

I had massages, facials and leg-waxes
And took myself home in London Taxis
My blow-dried hair looked super-chic
And I believed in 8-hours beauty-sleep

BUT OH THINGS HAVE ALTERED!
My quest has now faltered
As a mum with 3 kids it clearly seems
My former life was a thing of dreams

Now I laugh in the face of beauty-sleep!
I buy myself products, so long as they’re cheap
My ‘beauty routine’ is lacklustre:
face-wash and cream is all I can muster

I wash in a bath I share with my boys
Which contains some wee & plastic toys
I slap on some of their Gruffalo Wash
As they climb on me with a mighty splosh

It takes two minutes to ‘do my face’
& every morning it feels like a race
To make myself just about passable
And get my children off to school

I try to disguise my lack of gloss
With lipstick; Rimmel by Kate Moss
Pulling greasy hair in a pony-tail
I ignore my glaring beauty fails

As my baby begs to have a cuddle
I leave the bathroom in a muddle
I rush out the door just happy I’m dressed
And ignore the fact I feel like a mess

Yes, I’m not as polished as when I was 27
But now I enjoy a different heaven
There’ll be time for preening when I’m 55
And then I’ll look back all misty-eyed…

To when my days were so damn busy
And I didn’t have any time for ME
That I wrinkled my face with daily laughter
Thanks to the kids that I looked after

I’m spending my time in the line of duty
And while it’s chaotic… it’s a thing of beauty!
Yes my grooming routine is far from posh
But I’m happy being THE GREAT UNWASHED.

 

 

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Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.

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