The life coach: Time out

Natalie Alexia - 2 Sep 13

Resident Life Coach Natalie Monk on why it’s important to take time out

I have learned over the last 12 years, as a busy, working mother of 3, just how important it is to look after yourself. It is essential, if you really want to do a great job of looking after them.

The greatest gem I’ve discovered is that ‘children learn by what you do, not what you say.’ If you are not honouring your own needs you are teaching your kids to, ultimately, treat themselves the same way. It is very easy to slip into that space of putting our own needs last; but your title is ‘Mother’ not ‘martyr!’ Never underestimate how powerful you are as a role model.

In our role of being mum we, naturally, move ourselves from the front to the back of the queue in the needs department. But making the effort to take time out will leave you happy, invigorated and give you the energy you need to look after your family.

Do you take enough time for yourself?
Here are some questions that might prompt the answer:

• In the last 4 weeks have you done something, just for you?

• Have you read a book for pleasure in the last 6 months?

• Do you make time to exercise or engage in a hobby you enjoy?

• Are you happy with your, hair, clothes and the way you look?

• Do you eat well?

If you answer no, to any of these questions you should be taking more time out for yourself! But, where to start?

Tip 1: Get a date in the diary
Pick one thing that makes you feel really good. Eg: Having your hair done, going for a walk, a gym class, meeting a friend for dinner etc. Then schedule it. If you don’t plan, it won’t happen! Don’t just read this and think… ‘Yeah, that would be nice!’ and do nothing! If you don’t make time for yourself, nobody else will. Make a plan to do at least one thing for you and only you each and every week.

Tip 2: Don’t feel guilty
Do not – I repeat – do not feel guilty about making time for yourself, and spending time without your kids! You are doing all of you a favour! You are being a better role model, showing them that you are an individual with needs. The added bonus is when you get back, refreshed, they will appreciate you more and vice versa.

Tip 3: Ask for help
As women and mothers, we can have a tendency to think we can and should do it all. Some of us even think it’s easier that way. It’s not! Ask for help, let your partner, or mother, sister, brother, friend etc know you need a little time for yourself and ask for help in making that happen. The bonus is that people like to help!

 Tip 4: Relax, it will be fine
For those of us that like to be in control… take a breath! It will be fine. Granny might not mash the carrots the same as you… but Poppy won’t starve. Your partner may not dress Barney in a matching outfit… but there’s a certain charm about that! They might even miss a nap, but in the grand scheme of things it will be fine! Take a breath and enjoy the time you’ve set aside for yourself, worry free…

Natalie Alexia

Natalie is a speaker, trainer, life & business coach at Lifeletloose.com. She lives in the O.C, California, with her husband Charlie & children Tallulah 13, Theo 8 and Matilda, 5. In those rare, quiet moments when she is not at work, she can be found writing articles, singing, reading or hanging out by the pool with the kids.

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