The light at the end of the tunnel

Nicky - 12 Mar 17

I have gone on one hell of a journey in the last 3 years, some good, some bad and some damn right ugly but today I am here telling my story because I am proud of the woman I have become.

3 Years ago I found the courage to leave an emotionally abusive and destructive marriage. At the end I was an anorexic, self-loathing mess of a human being afraid of my own shadow. Years of mental abuse had finally taken their toll and when I saw a way out I took it with every ounce of my being.

Deciding to leave my husband and break up my family was not a decision I took lightly, but when I looked at my then 2 year old daughter and looked at myself in the mirror I wanted a better life for her, I wanted her to grow up to be an independent strong courageous individual the complete opposite of who I had become. I have been lucky enough to have been brought up by fantastic parents who have always supported me 100% and quite frankly I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. I know what a loving happy marriage and family should be and we did not have it.

I feel there is a slight stigma attached to a single parent family and I too would have once stereotyped but things have changed. My daughter misses out on very little despite my ex husband deciding to walk away completely from her physically and financially and although times ahead may be testing I am so proud of the wonderfully balanced, well put together little human she has become.

3 years on and some hefty bumps in the road and I can honestly say I am proud, not only proud of the amazing little lady that I have raised because she really is sensational but proud of me too. Someone asked me the other day if I have always been this confident, it almost knocked me sideways, the simple answer is no I haven’t but how wonderful that my confidence has now reached such heights.

Being a single Mum has its difficulties…I don’t really have a life (I realised this today when I got excited about my new toilet seat) but it has so many benefits…I don’t have to share my bed with a snoring other half, I get to watch exactly what I want to watch on the TV (when little one is in bed) I rarely have to shave my legs and I don’t have to put up with a bully destroying all my self-confidence.

Maybe there is another chapter for us one day but for now, there really was light at the end of the tunnel and we are an incredibly happy little unit exploring life together

Nicky

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