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The morning I said ‘Shit’ a lot.

1
Some of my favourite people swear, but I try not to and am usually quite successful. But sometimes I fail. I failed when I took my eldest daughter to nursery in the morning. Anyone who takes two children for a school/nursery run will know how tricky it is to get in the car/get them both out of the car/realise that the littlest has done an explosive poo just as you are about to get out of the car. When the latter happened to me last week, it was so bad I really had to deal with it in the car before going into the nursery.
I realised I had no wipes but
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with a small travel pack of Minion branded tissues, I thought I’d go for it anyway. ‘Shit’ I accidentally whispered with my toddler in the back. The poo had leaked out to the tights. I was overheating in the car, things were hectic, and we were now running late. ‘Oh no, look what your sister’s done into her tigh…Shit (there, bollocks – I’d now said it twice). ‘Oh, look, no! Now she’s trying to roll over with all her strength’ and ahh, ‘SHIT’ (for the third time) the heel had backed into the poo and was kicking away. ‘Shit!’
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By now I was away and just couldn’t stop. My 10month daughter was wriggling and trying to escape in the front seat, she’d managed to stand up on her strong standing poo-covered legs so she could slap away at the car window. ‘Shit’! The smell was bad, poo was on all of her clothes and an actual piece of poo had been flung on my top. ‘Sorry darling, mummy shouldn’t say that word, you must never use it – it isn’t very nice. ‘It’s ok mummy’ said my daughters sweet little voice. A couple of ‘shit’s later she was dressed in her
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sister’s clothes and we left the car (with a massive pile of poo-filled tissues).
I need to work on my word control.
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- 22 Aug 17

Some of my favourite people swear, but I try not to and am usually quite successful. But sometimes I fail. I failed when I took my eldest daughter to nursery in the morning. Anyone who takes two children for a school/nursery run will know how tricky it is to get in the car/get them both out of the car/realise that the littlest has done an explosive poo just as you are about to get out of the car. When the latter happened to me last week, it was so bad I really had to deal with it in the car before going into the nursery.

I realised I had no wipes but with a small travel pack of Minion branded tissues, I thought I’d go for it anyway. ‘Shit’ I accidentally whispered with my toddler in the back. The poo had leaked out to the tights. I was overheating in the car, things were hectic, and we were now running late. ‘Oh no, look what your sister’s done into her tigh…Shit (there, bollocks – I’d now said it twice). ‘Oh, look, no! Now she’s trying to roll over with all her strength’ and ahh, ‘SHIT’ (for the third time) the heel had backed into the poo and was kicking away. ‘Shit!’ By now I was away and just couldn’t stop. My 10month daughter was wriggling and trying to escape in the front seat, she’d managed to stand up on her strong standing poo-covered legs so she could slap away at the car window. ‘Shit’! The smell was bad, poo was on all of her clothes and an actual piece of poo had been flung on my top. ‘Sorry darling, mummy shouldn’t say that word, you must never use it – it isn’t very nice. ‘It’s ok mummy’ said my daughters sweet little voice. A couple of ‘shit’s later she was dressed in her sister’s clothes and we left the car (with a massive pile of poo-filled tissues).

I need to work on my word control.

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