The Other Mother.

Kerry Thompson - 10 Jun 16

Nope, not the topshop trendy playground mum or the snooty Mrs Snooty bum mum. I am actually talking about the one you met along the way. The alli, the woman who feels your pain. The one who’s child mirrors your own. The wonderfully unexpected and random friendship.

I met my “Other Mother” (OM) at a completely useless parenting class Pre baby. There we all were, five pairs of weirdo’s sat together in a semicircle. First impressions of my OM were based purely on jealousy. She was a teeny tiny, trendy, troll sized, Jessie J blunt black hair cut, neat bumped mum to be. Ugh!

After a few smiles, a discussion of how many nappies to pack in hospitals bags, by the time I bumped into her at a hospital visit I started to wish I’d asked for her number. After a chance meeting at a baby clinic weigh in, post baby, we swapped numbers while blissfully, happy and jovial in our wonderful, amazingly, stupendous, new born, baby mummy bubble.

After a couple of awkward meet ups pushing our new borns round I was brave enough to stalk her on Facebook and asked her to be my friend! Three years later and I love her. In fact she would laugh at my early doors description of her. My OM is encapsulated in this wonderful friendship we have now, born at the same time as our sons.

You see with the OM, there are no pre conceived ideas about each other. We did’t grow up together or have any prior links. We knew nothing, nada. My friends don’t know her friends. Everything is brand spanking new. It’s totally fab.

Now you will find us having cocktails almost every month and are avid chatters on what’s app. When we met up for cocktails last week she wore her fabulous pineapple sparkly tee and announced her son was being an arsehole! This is why I adore her.

A friendship based on complete honesty and total truth. I don’t need to lie, embellish or put on an outfit to match hers. I’m not intimidated. There are no comparisons made between our very different lives. We accept each other for who we are and it’s absolutely fantastic, enlightening, a complete joy!

These last three years have not been without our own personal heartbreaks either. I suffered a brain haemorrhage three months after the birth of my son and my OM’s own mother passed away recently. However, the relationship that bloomed has given us the ability to dump our joined sarcastic, dry humour onto the gritty heartache going on in our lives and quite frankly it’s a relief. No tiptoeing around. It’s real, raw and we listen, I mean really listen.

The OM is the one or ones you met at the beginning of motherhood. I’m positive this is why it it so easy. We already have masses in common but because we are complete strangers meeting later in our life’s it’s stripped of all the bullshit gathered along the way which with other friends can be hard to shake off.

So you may have met your OM by walking into your first play group and bursting into tears overwhelmed,  at the local sure start at the monthly weigh in or just pushing your little one on the swing. I hope you all have one which makes motherhood and life that little bit easier to swallow.

My OM and I have the perfect friendship. Unexpected and based on motherhood, sarcasm and cocktails alongside the love of our little boys who are also friends now. Who is your OM?

All hail the “Other Mother!”

Kerry Thompson

I am a 36 mother if one three year old boy. Drew. I have been married since Dec 2009 to Scott who is a marine engineer, which means he works away from home 4 weeks at a time. Not forgetting my little ship tzu called Maggie. My only female Comrad! I am a full time mummy. Partly due to Scott's Job and mostly because three months aft having Drew I suffered a ruptured anyeursm resulting in a brain haemorrhage. I didn't return to work I have spent the last 3 years recovering and learning to be a mummy. I do however have a degree in education which I passed with first class honours. I received my degree after my haemorrhage. My aim at the time was teacher. That was then, this is now. I decided to write on here as sometimes I feel a bit lost. My son is in nursery now and I'm facing the predicament of "what do I do" if I'm not being a mummy what do I do, I can't return to my previous job. I hope someone reads my words.

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