The Rules Of Daytime Drinking

Anniki Sommerville - 19 Aug 15

Before I became a parent daytime drinking was something that only occurred very occasionally. Usually it’d be a Sunday afternoon –a ‘hair of the dog’ number that would slowly evolve into something more decadent. Or weddings. Or holidays where drinking in the daytime is the norm. But most of my drinking was reserved for evenings.

But this changed when I became a parent.

For the first few months I didn’t drink. Then when I did I felt terrible (it was New Years Eve and I drank two glasses of red wine and ended up crying on the sofa). The problem was I was just too tired and anxious. Alcohol amplified my problems. It wasn’t until my daughter was about eight months old that I enjoyed a drink again.

And that’s when daytime drinking really kicked in.

Parents drinking in the daytime is a like a secret club. Before parenthood I’d always assumed parents were sober all the time. I thought you became a monk. I didn’t notice the sly bottle of Prosecco sticking out of the nappy bag or the beer peeking out of the jeans pocket. But daytime drinking is handy when you’re a parent. It means you can still have some semblance of social life without having to shell out loads of money on babysitters. It also means you can go to bed and deal with the fact that your kid wakes up at five. The other great thing is you get your hangover over and done with (usually around nine if you stopped drinking at tea time) and can wake up feeling semi-normal. It gives you time to recover.

But it’s not all roses either.

Here are a few ground rules that I’ve laid down (based on my own recent experiences).

– Prosecco may make you feel a bit like you’re in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel but it’s dangerous. One of my friends has experienced several ‘prosecco black outs’. She basically wakes up in front of Game of Thrones with no recollection of where she’s been or what she’s done. If you’re a parent this is especially worrying. It’s not fizzy water. Be cautious.

– Remember you’re a parent. The reality is there’s a trampoline over there with your child bouncing up and down on it. Someone needs to take charge. Right now that’s you so put the drink down.

– Don’t get cast as the ‘party babysitter’. It’s very easy to end up being the one who sets up the bubble machine, takes kids to the toilet, feeds them bits of cucumber and stops them drinking prosecco. If you find yourself in this role then subtly find a way to alert the negligent offender(s). Putting their child in their lap and loudly saying – ‘GREAT! THERE’S MUMMY NOW WHERE’S MY GLASS GONE?’

– On a similar theme you need to stay sober enough (or one of you does) to complete the bedtime routine. Come to some sort of agreement early on so you don’t both end up like Sid and Nancy come six thirty.

– If your kid looks at you in a weird way then you’ve probably had enough. You don’t want to create memories that’ll stick in their head so head home whilst you can still walk. If you find yourself laughing heartily for no reason in the toilet then ditto.

– Don’t launch into a tawdry story about your first sexual experience at a child’s 1st birthday party. This is a sure sign that you’ve taken daytime drinking onto a whole new level. Check the expressions of other parents to see whether you’ve crossed the line.

– You may feel a few inappropriate feelings towards other people’s partners/husbands. This is normal. You are not in a Jilly Cooper novel. You are not about to embark on an affair. You’re just drunk and it feels sordid because it’s daylight and you’re standing next to a plastic playhouse.

If you keep these rules in mind then you can safely navigate the daytime drinking arena. I’ve actually given it up for a while after one too many transgressions. Daytime drinking is fine as long as you maintain some semblance of control. But it’ll always be a compromise. You can never truly let your hair down.

Actually come to think of it it’s probably better to shell out for a babysitter and have a proper night out. Who am I kidding?

NB: Let me be clear here- I’m not saying parents should drink everyday, all day. I’m talking about weekends. And in the summer maybe the odd afternoon play-date. And only in the park if accompanied by another parent and not in the morning.

Anniki Sommerville

I'm Super Editor here at SelfishMother.com and love reading all your fantastic posts and mulling over all the complexities of modern parenting. We have a fantastic and supportive community of writers here and I've learnt just how transformative and therapeutic writing can me. If you've had a bad day then write about it. If you've had a good day- do the same! You'll feel better just airing your thoughts and realising that no one has a master plan. I'm Mum to a daughter who's 3 and my passions are writing, reading and doing yoga (I love saying that but to be honest I'm no yogi).

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