I have given myself two mantras for the year, the first being compartmentalise. Work is for work, kids time is for kids, friends time for friends, me time for me. It’s been great for allaying the guilt/worry you can get for thinking you ‘should’ be somewhere else, doing something else, writing that report, answering that email etc. It’s quite enriching too. For example, yesterday I ‘should’ have been doing some admin, housework, chores but instead I slept in, I met a friend for coffee, collected a parcel, met another friend for more coffee, went home and got ready to go out to celebrate yet another friend’s birthday (I may sound like I live in a social whirl — I don’t. These things come like buses). These days, to go out,  I would normally sling on some jeans and just go, but I gave myself the time to have a bath, wash, hair mask and straighten my hair, put some music on, choose an outfit. I ‘wasted’ time I should have spent loading the dishwasher or sorting the washing, but it was my time and I chose to give my much neglected body a small pamper. It felt good. I went out feeling confident and shiny.

My second mantra of the year is f*ck it, which is also going well. Instead of worrying about an email coming in, a complaint, what people think, messing up etc. I just think, ‘f*ck it’. This doesn’t mean I don’t care or address the problem, but by changing my initial reaction, I own the problem rather than it owning me. Again, so far, so good.

I’m sure there will be times when these things don’t work but they feel like a solid base to work from and have that degree of self-preservation that I need at the moment. I have joined the self-preservation society. Membership is free.