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Friends with and without kids often talk about how much having children complicates things. It’s true the impact on logistics is massive and spontaneity is a distant memory. But I actually think when it comes to decisions they really simplify things.
This week I am changing jobs to be closer to home. This is based on one simple decision – would it benefit my child? I’m not a selfless mum whose life revolves completely around their child. But if I actually made this decision based on myself there would have been a million questions.
Do I
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really want to leave these colleagues? But I’m so set up here? Will it be harder? Will it be weird to do the job near home? Will I get to see my friends more if I work closer? Will I have a better balance?
If I tried to answer all those questions my brain would have imploded and the opportunity would have passed me by.
The question is also not would he like it? He’s a toddler. Who knows what he likes from one minute to the next – definitely not him! For some the answer to would it benefit my child would be to stay at home. That isn’t the
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case for us he’s a very sociable child who really needs the company of other children (and I’m a very sociable adult who really needs the company of other adults!) for others the answer would be to work full time and the financial stability that would bring their child. I also think we need to avoid complicating the question based on what other people/society think would benefit our children.
So yes the logistics of both being 50 minutes away from our child in opposite directions complicated things. But our child did not. He made it the simplest
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decision in the world.
Shout out to the colleagues who I have tried to avoid all week so I don’t think about how much I’ll miss them. Shout out to my friends you might actually get to see me! Shout out to my husband who makes the decision a reality. And shout out to the little boy who makes my life simple. I will never underestimate how privileged I am.
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Rachel Buckley - 11 Apr 19
Friends with and without kids often talk about how much having children complicates things. It’s true the impact on logistics is massive and spontaneity is a distant memory. But I actually think when it comes to decisions they really simplify things.
This week I am changing jobs to be closer to home. This is based on one simple decision – would it benefit my child? I’m not a selfless mum whose life revolves completely around their child. But if I actually made this decision based on myself there would have been a million questions.
Do I really want to leave these colleagues? But I’m so set up here? Will it be harder? Will it be weird to do the job near home? Will I get to see my friends more if I work closer? Will I have a better balance?
If I tried to answer all those questions my brain would have imploded and the opportunity would have passed me by.
The question is also not would he like it? He’s a toddler. Who knows what he likes from one minute to the next – definitely not him! For some the answer to would it benefit my child would be to stay at home. That isn’t the case for us he’s a very sociable child who really needs the company of other children (and I’m a very sociable adult who really needs the company of other adults!) for others the answer would be to work full time and the financial stability that would bring their child. I also think we need to avoid complicating the question based on what other people/society think would benefit our children.
So yes the logistics of both being 50 minutes away from our child in opposite directions complicated things. But our child did not. He made it the simplest decision in the world.
Shout out to the colleagues who I have tried to avoid all week so I don’t think about how much I’ll miss them. Shout out to my friends you might actually get to see me! Shout out to my husband who makes the decision a reality. And shout out to the little boy who makes my life simple. I will never underestimate how privileged I am.
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