The Spectacular Bullshit of Sleep

Emma While - 13 Mar 19

I don’t know what happens when people start talking about baby sleep but it’s apparently necessary for one’s brain to fall out of one’s ear and then to spout forth as much utter drivel as possible…whilst keeping a straight face and actually believing one’s own ridiculousness.

In fact, the further removed from reality, scientific evidence, normal, healthy behaviour and just plain common sense, the better it seems.

In both my own little dance through motherhood and in helping others do the same I have had the pleasure of encountering a truly inordinate amount of spectacular bullshit where sleep is concerned, from friends, family, ‘experts’ and strangers alike.

And so I have selflessly compiled for you my top 10 of Spectacular Sleep Bullshit… although I will say that, given there is rather a lot of spectacular bullshit spouted around the baby sleep world, this list has been super hard to narrow down.  I think I’ve nailed it…but I’d love to hear, what else would you add?

10. ‘Crap’ naps.

What?   Ain’t no law against a cat nap. Just be glad they fell asleep at all, really. Short nap, long nap, somewhere-in-between nap, wake-up-and-go-back-to-sleep-again naps…all good.  A nap is a nap is a nap, nothing crap about it.

9. Your baby SHOULD be able to STTN by xyz months

Yeah, and you SHOULD be able to keep your advice to yourself, thanks very much, because that, my friend is not at all true.  I don’t even sleep through the night and I’m, ahem, over 40.  Babies are supposed to wake up during the night.  End of. It’s bad enough we should all over our big-ass adult selves but to do it to our babies too? Nope.

8. Self Soothing.

Oh my goodness I just can’t even with this one.  It’s not a thing.  It doesn’t exist. Your baby is not broken because they don’t do it.  Please.  Just.  Everyone.  Stop.  Using.  These.  Words.

7. Sleeping on the go is a no go.

Why? Based on what science or data or experience?  Again, totally untrue and actually evidence suggests quite the opposite.  If your baby needs motion to help them sleep then why in the world wouldn’t you use it? Silly in the extreme.

6. However your baby falls asleep is how they’ll need to fall asleep for all wake ups.

Lol. Oh dear.  So how do you explain those babies who nurse to sleep but are happy with a cuddle in the middle of the night?  Or who roll off the boob and fall asleep by themselves at bedtime but nurse back to sleep during the night…or a million other scenarios.  Bye bye, that advice is not needed here, thanks.

5. You need to teach your baby to sleep.

OK, sure.  Once I’ve finished teaching them how to breathe, look at me, move their limbs, crawl, walk, suckle, eat and every other totally natural developmental milestone I’ll enroll them into falling asleep classes, just like my mummy did me…oh no wait, hang on…

4. You’re creating a rod for your own back.

I don’t even know what this one means.  But it’s completely stupid.

3. Stop creating bad/negative habits/sleep associations.

Yeah! Stop doing what nature intended by nursing to sleep, stop teaching your baby they’re loved and cared for and can rely on having their needs met, you idiot.  Dur, don’t you know those are all negative things!?  Face palm.

2. Just leave them to cry

No, no, no, mega no and just no. Nuff said

and my winner is…Drowsy but awake

OK, I know “leave them to cry” is way worse than just “put them down drowsy but awake”, but this really is my all time personal favourite of spectacular bullshit.  Because it is just so laughably ridiculous and is just never going to work for a baby who struggles with sleep in the first place… like my high needs, FOMO, wild child.  Pure nonsense.  There is no drowsy…there’s leaping around the place like a lunatic, and there’s asleep, mostly attached to some kind of milk supply.  Which is fine. And normal. And healthy. Sorry, can’t type straight for laughing.

So go on, tell me, what’s YOUR favourite?

Emma While

I’m Emma While, the founder of Courage & Chamomile, and I’m passionate about empowering mothers like you to not just believe in themselves as a mother, but to believe in & BECOME their full selves within & beyond motherhood. To find more wild-hearted purpose & open-hearted joy beyond the day to day trudge. To consciously curate a more aligned, balanced, meaningful & fulfilling motherhood experience. For the good of ourselves, our family & this world we call home. I’m a NLP practitioner, coach, teacher, international family sleep & wellbeing specialist, mindfulness teacher & motherhood mentor. And, I’ve worked with hundreds of mothers just like you: Who know they have a spark within them that needs to get out… And who are ready to say YES to becoming who they truly are so they can create the life, purpose, & family they know they deserve. If you're ready to BECOME that woman go to www.courageandchamomile.com/become to unleash your magic x

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