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The Speed Fun Mum

1
I sit here in bed, typing on my rose gold laptop, wearing a silver top I slept in. This is the silver top that I left on when I went to bed, as I was too inebriated to locate my PJs. This is the silver top that I bought two weeks ago, with last night’s party in mind.

Because, my evening social life is so slim these days that I plan for nights out way in advance. This isn’t something I used to do, pre-kids, I was so busy and had so many parties, that I tended to throw something on a moment’s notice.

But this shift is understandable; during the

SelfishMother.com
2
week I get into bed at 8pm, exhausted, for 2 hours ’me time’ before I turn off the lights at 10pm. I have time to prepare for the 1 or 2 weekend social occasions a month.

And, as I’m getting my mojo back, post third child; party invites are most welcome. In fact, I approach them with a feverish glee. Booking childcare, planning what I wear and even – gasp – washing my hair.

I’ve written before about being a ’mum on the loose,’ so I won’t go over old ground… but now I’ve noticed a new phenomenon in me, and other parents: Speed Fun.

For

SelfishMother.com
3
Tom and I it starts the second we leave the house when the babysitter takes over care of our 3 munchkins at say, 8pm. We make the plan of attack. What we’ll order to drink. How we see the night going. We have to be back by midnight. And in my head, it’s like a timer has gone off… T-minus 4 hours of fun. And counting.

The kind of night that used to entail Leisurely Fun, a slow burn of good times, are now steeped in nostalgia. They are over.

Now, things are different: going out of an evening features a carefully orchestrated plan to Get On It in

SelfishMother.com
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the short window of time available. When we arrive we don’t waste any time in getting the first drink. And it’s not that I want to get drunk, it’s just that I know our time is preciously short, so best not waste it.

And I also know that I don’t want to stay out past midnight, as I’d feel terrible in the morning when I wake up and need to look after children. So I have to fit a lot into this 4 hours, except minus the walk there & back it’s really 3.5… and counting.

And, as I progress through the evening, it’s like the Night of Fun is on

SelfishMother.com
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fast-forward. And I realise I’m not the only one. What used to be acceptable party behaviour at midnight, is brought forward a couple of hours. Last night, people started dancing – DANCING, drunkenly – like wedding dancing – at a sprightly 9.55pm. I know because I looked at my watch. Even in my slightly toxic state, I thought, didn’t dancing used to come… much later?

It’s not all about drinking. It’s that the Spirit of Fun seems to be faster paced. More present. We seem to have lost that cool reserve that we used to carry on our shoulders for

SelfishMother.com
6
the first part on an evening. Maybe we left it in the labour room, along with our embarrassment of being naked.

We are happy to be out. We are keen to Get Stuck In… and, I have to say: I like it. I like that conversation doesn’t linger on small talk. That we get straight to the bones of it. I like that everyone seems Up For It.

And I also like that I won’t carry on until the early hours; instead I’ll be in bed just past midnight, and I’ll wake with a happy, fuzzy, glow at 6am, as my kids crawl into my bed & turn on CBeebies.

And the

SelfishMother.com
7
best bit is that I won’t be nursing a hangover, because the good thing about Speed Fun is; there’s not enough time to do any real damage.
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- 17 Feb 19

I sit here in bed, typing on my rose gold laptop, wearing a silver top I slept in. This is the silver top that I left on when I went to bed, as I was too inebriated to locate my PJs. This is the silver top that I bought two weeks ago, with last night’s party in mind.

Because, my evening social life is so slim these days that I plan for nights out way in advance. This isn’t something I used to do, pre-kids, I was so busy and had so many parties, that I tended to throw something on a moment’s notice.

But this shift is understandable; during the week I get into bed at 8pm, exhausted, for 2 hours ‘me time’ before I turn off the lights at 10pm. I have time to prepare for the 1 or 2 weekend social occasions a month.

And, as I’m getting my mojo back, post third child; party invites are most welcome. In fact, I approach them with a feverish glee. Booking childcare, planning what I wear and even – gasp – washing my hair.

I’ve written before about being a ‘mum on the loose,’ so I won’t go over old ground… but now I’ve noticed a new phenomenon in me, and other parents: Speed Fun.

For Tom and I it starts the second we leave the house when the babysitter takes over care of our 3 munchkins at say, 8pm. We make the plan of attack. What we’ll order to drink. How we see the night going. We have to be back by midnight. And in my head, it’s like a timer has gone off… T-minus 4 hours of fun. And counting.

The kind of night that used to entail Leisurely Fun, a slow burn of good times, are now steeped in nostalgia. They are over.

Now, things are different: going out of an evening features a carefully orchestrated plan to Get On It in the short window of time available. When we arrive we don’t waste any time in getting the first drink. And it’s not that I want to get drunk, it’s just that I know our time is preciously short, so best not waste it.

And I also know that I don’t want to stay out past midnight, as I’d feel terrible in the morning when I wake up and need to look after children. So I have to fit a lot into this 4 hours, except minus the walk there & back it’s really 3.5… and counting.

And, as I progress through the evening, it’s like the Night of Fun is on fast-forward. And I realise I’m not the only one. What used to be acceptable party behaviour at midnight, is brought forward a couple of hours. Last night, people started dancing – DANCING, drunkenly – like wedding dancing – at a sprightly 9.55pm. I know because I looked at my watch. Even in my slightly toxic state, I thought, didn’t dancing used to come… much later?

It’s not all about drinking. It’s that the Spirit of Fun seems to be faster paced. More present. We seem to have lost that cool reserve that we used to carry on our shoulders for the first part on an evening. Maybe we left it in the labour room, along with our embarrassment of being naked.

We are happy to be out. We are keen to Get Stuck In… and, I have to say: I like it. I like that conversation doesn’t linger on small talk. That we get straight to the bones of it. I like that everyone seems Up For It.

And I also like that I won’t carry on until the early hours; instead I’ll be in bed just past midnight, and I’ll wake with a happy, fuzzy, glow at 6am, as my kids crawl into my bed & turn on CBeebies.

And the best bit is that I won’t be nursing a hangover, because the good thing about Speed Fun is; there’s not enough time to do any real damage.

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Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.

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