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Well, as the title suggests, I’m a mum and I’m not married.
My partner and I love each other very much and I see him as the man I will someday marry. We have had our gorgeous son, which is the best thing that has ever happened to us. So why is it clouded by the fact that we had him out of wedlock?
When we found out we were pregnant it came as a shock. After a short discussion, we had made the decision to keep our little one.
During our discussion we talked about what would need to change;
-cancelling plans to go travelling
SelfishMother.com
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together
-transforming the spare room into the nursery
-money/work
-generally pretty much EVERYTHING!
We were excited if not a little nervous!
However, the topic of not being married soon became a whirlwind conversation! We debated whether to get married on the quiet or have a small wedding whilst I was pregnant. He’d confessed he was planning on proposing whilst we were away travelling and so didn’t see why we couldn’t just get married now (kind of a blokish view!).
I put my foot down, as we woman do at times, and explained I
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would not be rushed into getting married just because I was pregnant. Being married wasn’t going to make me love my baby anymore or make me a better mother just because of a piece of paper! I also didn’t want to get married to please other people and avoid ’those looks’, or the searching look of a ring on my finger.
There is an ever-growing number of couples are not married before having a child together. There are couples that are married and do not have the same surname. There are couples that never choose to get married but live a long and
SelfishMother.com
4
happy life together, with children or not. When are we going to get rid of this archaic view of you must ’meet someone, get married, have children, grow old’. It’s very text-book! Here we are in the 21st century, life, as I know it, is a roller-coaster that you have to adapt to. I’m going to enjoy and embrace the ride and try to not let other people’s glares and stares interfere.
Whilst I was pregnant I was put under pressure from work colleagues and friends to make my partner ’hurry up and pop the question’. But how would this ring, somehow
SelfishMother.com
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make my pregnancy in some way more acceptable?! Getting pregnant is a miracle! Here I was, over the moon and yet there were people ’raining on my parade’.
At the moment, marriage is something we see in our future. Our son is almost 10 months and I loving life. I have no ring on my finger and I’m not expecting one son (babies are expensive!). I’m going to have to be patient and wait for him to POP THE QUESTION. Or maybe, as it’s a leap year, I may even ask him! Gosh that would just really put some people’s noses out of joint! Ha
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ha!
When we get married, I want it to be because it is the right time for us. I want to celebrate our wedding with friends and family, but when the time is right for us. How lucky am I to think that our son will be able to share our special day with us one day!
So here’s to all those unmarried mum’s out there; hold your head up high and be the bet mum you can be!
Happy days,
the unmarried mum x X x
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Ava Eyre - 12 Jan 16
Well, as the title suggests, I’m a mum and I’m not married.
My partner and I love each other very much and I see him as the man I will someday marry. We have had our gorgeous son, which is the best thing that has ever happened to us. So why is it clouded by the fact that we had him out of wedlock?
When we found out we were pregnant it came as a shock. After a short discussion, we had made the decision to keep our little one.
During our discussion we talked about what would need to change;
-cancelling plans to go travelling together
-transforming the spare room into the nursery
-money/work
-generally pretty much EVERYTHING!
We were excited if not a little nervous!
However, the topic of not being married soon became a whirlwind conversation! We debated whether to get married on the quiet or have a small wedding whilst I was pregnant. He’d confessed he was planning on proposing whilst we were away travelling and so didn’t see why we couldn’t just get married now (kind of a blokish view!).
I put my foot down, as we woman do at times, and explained I would not be rushed into getting married just because I was pregnant. Being married wasn’t going to make me love my baby anymore or make me a better mother just because of a piece of paper! I also didn’t want to get married to please other people and avoid ‘those looks’, or the searching look of a ring on my finger.
There is an ever-growing number of couples are not married before having a child together. There are couples that are married and do not have the same surname. There are couples that never choose to get married but live a long and happy life together, with children or not. When are we going to get rid of this archaic view of you must ‘meet someone, get married, have children, grow old’. It’s very text-book! Here we are in the 21st century, life, as I know it, is a roller-coaster that you have to adapt to. I’m going to enjoy and embrace the ride and try to not let other people’s glares and stares interfere.
Whilst I was pregnant I was put under pressure from work colleagues and friends to make my partner ‘hurry up and pop the question’. But how would this ring, somehow make my pregnancy in some way more acceptable?! Getting pregnant is a miracle! Here I was, over the moon and yet there were people ‘raining on my parade’.
At the moment, marriage is something we see in our future. Our son is almost 10 months and I loving life. I have no ring on my finger and I’m not expecting one son (babies are expensive!). I’m going to have to be patient and wait for him to POP THE QUESTION. Or maybe, as it’s a leap year, I may even ask him! Gosh that would just really put some people’s noses out of joint! Ha ha!
When we get married, I want it to be because it is the right time for us. I want to celebrate our wedding with friends and family, but when the time is right for us. How lucky am I to think that our son will be able to share our special day with us one day!
So here’s to all those unmarried mum’s out there; hold your head up high and be the bet mum you can be!
Happy days,
the unmarried mum x X x
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I'm an unmarried mum, living with my partner and son in East London. I just seem to be one of those people that crazy things happen to all the time, so thought if my sometimes silly stories make you laugh then great!
I'm honoured to have joined the mummy club. Here's to Mums every where- wishing you happy days x X x
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