This makes me so sad! *and a little angry

Lauren Derret - 26 Feb 16

I’ve just read this article ‘My own HypnoBirth didn’t go to plan’. This article made me really sad! *and a little bit angry.

I’m sad for the woman writing it, clearly she had sets her sights on a specific birth and was left dissapointed when it didn’t play out and I’m sad that she had been taught in such a way that she bought into the idea of a ‘HypnoBirth’ being one set, predicable birth. She invisaged that she would spend more time with “calming mental images of waterfalls and warm sunny beaches” instead she delivered her baby within 40 mins of getting to the hospital, which makes me think that her body was working so effienctly and she was so relaxed, all the hard work was done whilst she was at home, she just didn’t realise that she was indeed, in labour.

When I teach The Wise Hippo Birthing Programme I use hypnosis with my clients as a way to truly relax them throughout pregnancy and birth. And then I teach them about the wonderful unpredictability of birth. They are under no illusion that they will be spending their entire labour on a beach. I learnt this from my own hypnobirth, which was an incredible experience but to the soundtrack of Snow Patrol rather than my HypnoBirthing CD. In my opinion to teach HypnoBirthing as a set way of birthing is leading poor women like this one onto a path of disappointment.

Taking a HypnoBirthing course can not guarantee you any kind of birth outcome, nothing or nobody can, we are not beyond nature, so then how sad that a mother remembers her birth like this;

“Months of practice felt a bit wasted, I didn’t manage even one visualisation or cleansing breath, that I can remember. Yes I had a natural birth, but mainly due to the fact there wasn’t really time for anything else, so all-in-all I’m not sure I’d consider it a successful hypnobirthing experience. Next time, I’ll head to the hospital much sooner to see if I can manage a nice swim around in that birthing pool and some lovely visualisations before the action begins.”

We, as teachers have to think about what we are promising our clients. We should be there to prepare couples for all kinds of births. Of course HypnoBirthing has a high success rate of unmedicated, positive, natural births, but, it most defiantly should not be what we promise our clients. That is not our job. Our job is to teach them tools that will make their births calmer, to educate them in the physiological side to birth, to educate the birth partner in how to support the birthing mother, to empower them to ask questions regarding their birth choices and to be the one in control of their birth. We should teach them to own their birth, not just how to breathe throughout their birth.

It’s more important to me that my client looks back on their birth saying “It didn’t go to plan but it was awesome and I fu*king owned it’” than it would be to hear them say, well, the quote above. That would break my heart.

It is actually a bloody tragedy that a women is left with this birth story largely due to the fact that she was sold a promise that was unpromisable (I don’t even care if that’s a real word right now)!!

I won’t make you promises but I will prepare for birth and load your birth armoury with some amazing tools that will enhance your experience.

Please, please, please choose your birthing course wisely, ask questions, keep your mind open and know that although hpnobirthing is a fantastic aid to birth, it makes no guarantees.

Lauren Derret

I’m Lauren, mum of 4 humans, each with their very own birth story. Red wine drinker, keen blogger, trash tv watcher and pretty hard core potty mouth! But, with a good heart and a passion for setting lovely women like you onto a path towards a positive birthing experience, and we’ll have fun doing it; always a bonus! I teach The Wise Hippo Birthing Programme and am a Doula Uk recognised Doula

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