Time Redefined: Mindfulness for parents
1
Parenting for me is a heady mixture of absolute heart warming joy, laughter and pride, yet in the same breath it can produce incredible anxiety, panic, self doubt and exhaustion.
From the minute you are handed your precious bundle, you are up. You are placed on the front line of the biggest protection operation of your life with zero training, zero camo gear and zero pay. Fan bloody-tastic.
In my naive pre-baby mind, I hoped for lots of nice relaxing post-birth hospital time, where my husband indulged me in massages whilst feeding me
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organic chocolate and gently rocking our new baby to sleep.
A burst catheter and some infected c-section stitches later, reality had alarmingly slapped me around the face and dunked me firmly into the waking reality of my new life. I thought I would literally drop down dead from lack of sleep. Was that even possible?
Things had to change. I needed to not only redefine who I was but also to completely redefine my time.
1. Mindfulness is conscious.
This might sound obvious but firstly, in order to feel like I have spent some
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time on myself, for myself, it needs to be conscious.
Mindfulness is being aware and making conscious decisions. Decide before hand that this will be something just for YOU. ‘ This action is for ME only.’ This should help towards balancing any feeling that your day has just been looking after everyone else.
Even if I’ve only decided a few minutes before, I know these moments will be focused on what I like and need
Purposeful, conscious self care.
2. Leisure time
A huge change and challenge once you become a parent. Often there is
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little to zero leisure time unless you really try to make it happen.
Outside circumstance often dictates this and for us, it has been limited childcare options. I needed to learn to swap the nice meals in restaurants and the drinks with friends for other things that would count as ‘leisure time’ in my mind and stop making me feel hard done by!
I listened to a lot of music and podcasts out loud, still do. Put on a live Kings of Leon album at high volume (or whatever floats your boat) have a sing and a dance around the house. Music is food for
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the soul and can take your mind off somewhere else for a few minutes which is sometimes all we need.
Spend a few extra minutes in the bath or shower whenever you can. Buy the more expensive bubble bath. Consciously relax.
Exercise is tricky when you become a new parent. Babies are either napping in the wrong place at the wrong time or you are too exhausted to do anything at all. If you have the time or the inclination I think this is where exercise Dvd’s come into their own. I remember doing a few half hours a week when our first born was
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taking his afternoon nap. Even though I was shattered, I felt proud and empowered that I had fit something in the day just for me.
3. Favourite drink
Indulge in your very favourite drink and make it with care.
THE best purchase my husband ever made was our very first coffee machine. The caffeine Im sure actually saved my life, HA! With both newborn sons, that stuff was like gold to me, a treat that kept me awake, conscious and at the baby party for way longer than I would ever have lasted without the stuff.
So whether it be a cup of freshly
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brewed builders tea, a soya latte, or a huge cup of hot chocolate, make it, enjoy it and know it is something just for you.
4. SIT DOWN!!
REST. You really are no good to anyone if you’re more knackered than you have to be. Something has to give, the washing can actually wait. I have been known to put the same load of washing on in the machine three times because I didn’t want to deal with its contents. Nobody died but I did get to rest for ten minutes that day.
Be kind to yourself, Parenting isn’t easy!
Mindful moments, time
SelfishMother.com
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Betty Bradshaw - 1 May 19
Parenting for me is a heady mixture of absolute heart warming joy, laughter and pride, yet in the same breath it can produce incredible anxiety, panic, self doubt and exhaustion.
From the minute you are handed your precious bundle, you are up. You are placed on the front line of the biggest protection operation of your life with zero training, zero camo gear and zero pay. Fan bloody-tastic.
In my naive pre-baby mind, I hoped for lots of nice relaxing post-birth hospital time, where my husband indulged me in massages whilst feeding me organic chocolate and gently rocking our new baby to sleep.
A burst catheter and some infected c-section stitches later, reality had alarmingly slapped me around the face and dunked me firmly into the waking reality of my new life. I thought I would literally drop down dead from lack of sleep. Was that even possible?
Things had to change. I needed to not only redefine who I was but also to completely redefine my time.
1. Mindfulness is conscious.
This might sound obvious but firstly, in order to feel like I have spent some time on myself, for myself, it needs to be conscious.
Mindfulness is being aware and making conscious decisions. Decide before hand that this will be something just for YOU. ‘ This action is for ME only.’ This should help towards balancing any feeling that your day has just been looking after everyone else.
Even if I’ve only decided a few minutes before, I know these moments will be focused on what I like and need
Purposeful, conscious self care.
2. Leisure time
A huge change and challenge once you become a parent. Often there is little to zero leisure time unless you really try to make it happen.
Outside circumstance often dictates this and for us, it has been limited childcare options. I needed to learn to swap the nice meals in restaurants and the drinks with friends for other things that would count as ‘leisure time’ in my mind and stop making me feel hard done by!
I listened to a lot of music and podcasts out loud, still do. Put on a live Kings of Leon album at high volume (or whatever floats your boat) have a sing and a dance around the house. Music is food for the soul and can take your mind off somewhere else for a few minutes which is sometimes all we need.
Spend a few extra minutes in the bath or shower whenever you can. Buy the more expensive bubble bath. Consciously relax.
Exercise is tricky when you become a new parent. Babies are either napping in the wrong place at the wrong time or you are too exhausted to do anything at all. If you have the time or the inclination I think this is where exercise Dvd’s come into their own. I remember doing a few half hours a week when our first born was taking his afternoon nap. Even though I was shattered, I felt proud and empowered that I had fit something in the day just for me.
3. Favourite drink
Indulge in your very favourite drink and make it with care.
THE best purchase my husband ever made was our very first coffee machine. The caffeine Im sure actually saved my life, HA! With both newborn sons, that stuff was like gold to me, a treat that kept me awake, conscious and at the baby party for way longer than I would ever have lasted without the stuff.
So whether it be a cup of freshly brewed builders tea, a soya latte, or a huge cup of hot chocolate, make it, enjoy it and know it is something just for you.
4. SIT DOWN!!
REST. You really are no good to anyone if you’re more knackered than you have to be. Something has to give, the washing can actually wait. I have been known to put the same load of washing on in the machine three times because I didn’t want to deal with its contents. Nobody died but I did get to rest for ten minutes that day.
Be kind to yourself, Parenting isn’t easy!
Mindful moments, time redefined.
Betty x
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Betty Bradshaw is a life blogger, writer and broadcast professional. She is married with two small children and lives in the middle of the Devon Countryside. Betty is partial to a glass of wine or two and a good dose of comedy.
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