TIME TO NOT THINK!

MAMA SNOWBEAR - 12 Dec 17

Recently I Have felt like I’ve been inundated with questions; as if I am the keeper at the golden gates of all the knowledge in the universe, the finder of all things and the wizard that can fix or magic up anything. I may as well be crowned Mary Poppins No 2, my handbag definitely resembles hers that’s for sure it’s unbelievable the stuff I can find in the depths of my bag, today I found a screwdriver and a bottle opener. I mean who needs one of them for the school run crikey.

The Stuff that I have found recently includes a lost Nintendo charger (“I’m sure I gave it to you… oh no, it’s in the laptop draw from where I took it out of my bag earlier”). A lost welly (in the drawer where the other one had been) a lost hat and scarf set (shocker – it was hung up with the rest of the hats, scarfs) and, perhaps the best of all, my purse and keys and that £20 I lost three months ago.

The last two were quite an achievement of mumming the shit out of life. I wasn’t even in the house when I found them – I was talking my other half through it from my phone whilst shopping in M & S.
Two items, 20 minutes, both found within seconds, thanks to me and my extensive knowledge of Where Everything Lives in the House. Now we have moved into our new house it’s a brand new challenge for the tribe to try to trump mummy’s hunting skills.

I generally hear “Where/when/what is…” about 20 times a day. In addition, 19 out of those 20 times I just take an educated guess and manage to get it right. I just happen to know things now I’m a mum; it’s like a magic gift you acquire once you give birth. The Hogwarts gift of motherhood but without the owl or flying car, I wish I got the owl all mums deserve cute owl companions.

It doesn’t tend to be useful things, like how to get my toddler to sleep past 6.00am or how to handle a toddler rage that won’t stop, unless you feed it ice cream or cake. Yet at some point in the past 16 months I’ve had some kind of supreme knowledge of useless details embedded in my psyche without me even realising. Perhaps it because my youngest has now matured into a 5 year old Godzilla of questions. Who knows?

What I do know is that it’s exhausting. At any one time I can tell you how many inhalers we have in the house (15)to be exact. The date and time that the next prescription is due for ordering and the next birthday party my son has been invited to. when we last changed the bed sheets (yesterday), how much we owe for removals and storage (too much), when the home insurance/gym membership/utility bills are up for renewal, where the fancy-dress costumes are, where un-ironed and pre-ironed uniforms are and how to find money in a hurry (see above).

That’s alongside keeping track of important information and appointments, making orders for clients, whilst trying to rebuild my career, planning exhibitions and creating an online exhibiting platform. Then of course there’s arranging to see friends and family outside of “just for childcare reasons”, and aiming to not fail miserably at keeping a clean house, getting any exercise (even though I have a gym membership) or spending quality, child-free time with my other half.
It’s probably easier to ask what isn’t in a mum’s mind.

Because what I’ve come to realise is that it’s not the actual birthing of your baby, or the sleep deprivation or the overall responsibility for another human being that takes its toll on you as a mum and your sanity. It’s ALL OF THE THINKING. Planning, organising and tracking an entire family is hard work( don’t let people down play it).

Friends tell me they wake up in the night to make “to do” lists and then beat themselves up because they never get around to doing any of it. It’s why I sit up until midnight most nights, because after the dinners (which I do tend to cook, admittedly but we do take turns), the baths, the bedtimes, doing the dishwasher and preparing for the next morning and completing my painting orders I may have that day. There are very few precious hours left in the day to sit quietly and not think at all. To not be needed. To not be asked, “Where/when/what is…”

So my suggestion is this mummy’s of the world, we need to unite. Let’s plan some mate dates, organise a rota, delegate some tasks to the children(yes 5 year olds can help at cleaning up ), and the husbands or partners, take that hour in the bath, keep a track of who’s going to be where and when they’ll be there. Then maybe, just maybe, with some careful time management and prioritisation we could help each other to take a few minutes off from our own brains and enjoy the silent white noise.

But then again, it may just turn into more things to think about thinking about it; it has to be worth a try right?.

MAMA SNOWBEAR

Mother of 2,Artist ,creator,blogger and illustrator who enjoys lots of tea and the occasional glass of malbec :)

View profile for posts, events and more info