Claire Kirby - 16 Oct 19

I see you trying to get a kid to school, with a toddler in tow who wants to pick up every leaf they see. I see you struggling with the bags and the lunchboxes and the toddler decides to go in the opposite direction. I see your forced cheeriness and the fake smile. I hear your high pitched “come on” said through gritted teeth.  And I see the lump in your throat as you hold back the tears. I know that your battle is not over when you finally enter the school gates. You still have to coax your oldest child to go into the classroom that he doesn’t want to enter. Then coax the toddler back out of the classroom that he would quite happily stay in. I know there’s a high chance you’ll be the mum walking out with a screaming toddler. I know you will have a knot in your stomach worrying about the kid you left at school. And I know It’s going to take you 40 minutes to do the 10 minute walk home with the toddler.   And at 3 O’clock you get to do it all over again.

I know that you feel totally alone in this.

You feel like you have some how been duped, things were supposed to get easier. But right now things are really really hard. But please know that you are not alone. I see you. I see you, because I was you.  The mum pushing the buggy with the screaming child. I was the mum with a toddler in the pushchair eating an ice lolly at 8:30 in the morning, because it was my last resort to get him out of the house.  

There were times when I cried as soon as the door closed behind me and I was back home.

When my eldest son was 6 he had a really tough year. My kid who had previously loved school suddenly hated it. His best friend had moved away and his class has been mixed up. He was struggling to find his place. The mornings were really hard. He cried when it was time to leave, begged me to let him stay home. I also had a two year-old who was quite happy playing with his trains. He didn’t want to be interrupted by the inconvenience of the school run. I felt like I was the only mum in that playground struggling with the school runs.

I can look back now and laugh at some of the things that happened on our daily commute.

Like the time Big had a strop on the way home and stormed off. At the same time Little decided to leg it in the opposite direction. I was left with the parenting dilemma of choosing which of my children I liked best in that moment to go after! Another time Little to decided to stop halfway across a road and lie down. Big decided the appropriate reaction was to also stop in the middle of the road and scream for help. Repeatedly. I picked Little up kicking and screaming and dragged Big across the road. Basically looking like I was abducting my own kids. There have been face plants into puddles (always on the way to school). Dog poo trodden in. Scooter crashes and tantrums. When they were happening I felt awful, it was horrendous. I tried everything. I always left plenty of time, we tried reward charts, games, reigns, and of course, bribery.

But the truth is getting two small kids out of the house and where you need to be for a certain time is hard.

Now days both of them are at school the school runs are easier.  They are actually normally quite uneventful. To all the mums on the school run with a toddler, I just want to say… I know you are in the thick of it right now. It does pass, it does get easier. School runs won’t always be like this. If you need a cup of tea and a hug we are here. With love from all of the mum’s who have been there.