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View as: GRID LIST

Top 5 Time-Out Places For Mothers

1
Children love to hide and escape, be it in a den made of sticks, a supersized cardboard box, a home-made tent made out of sheets and duvets. They love a place where they can be alone and let their imaginations run wild.

My eldest’s top place to hang out in at the moment is our apple tree – he clambers up it at lightening speed before the morning school run – whilst ignoring my ’Get in the car now! We’re late!’ angry outbursts – and climbs back up as soon as he gets home. He just sits there with a big smile on his face. Thinking. It’s his happy

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place. (Plus it’s a bonus to watch his frustrated little brother scratch around below as he tries but fails to reach the branches.) My youngest loves to hide too and is always disappearing behind sofas and in the laundry basket. He even rolls himself into a super-tight tube with the rug and stays there until someone trips over him. He gets a buzz from being hidden and on his own.

I so get this need to escape, to be all by yourself with just your head space for company. And I think as much as it’s important for children to do this, it’s equally

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important for us parents. Okay, so most of us can’t hide in a den or up a tree all day, for obvious reasons, but there are opportunities in our everyday lives to escape the mayhem of parenting. Here are my top five time-out places (bearing in mind that my boys no longer need watch-them-like-a-hawk monitoring):

1. MY BED
When my eldest comes into my bedroom at 6am on the dot (or earlier on a bad day), I always say, ’I’ll be down in a minute…’ This translates as, ’Go downstairs and please just let me lie here for another half an hour. Please let

SelfishMother.com
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me scoop the duvet up over my head and just enjoy a bit of quiet.’ Now he’s nearly six – and more sensible than me and my husband put together – he is fine on his own. However he does sometimes get bored and bellow, ’Mummy, get out of bed – now!’ Still, even if I only get a few moments of self-indulgent shut-eye, it is totally worth it.

2. THE SHOWER
No matter how bad your night has been (no thanks to an up-all-hours little mite), a shower always makes you feel refreshed and human again. It’s also where I do all my thinking and where I scroll

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through my mental to-do list. And you can’t beat just standing there with warm water pummelling down on your back. Heaven… The difficult bit is getting out, but usually a loud screaming noise or a thud coming from the living room will see me rushing for my towel.

3. THE KITCHEN
When I’m cooking, the boys tend to leave me to it. Sometimes they have a go at stirring a white sauce or poking a cooked chicken umpteen times to check if it’s ready, but for the most part they don’t disturb me. So messing around in the kitchen can be a great way to gain

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some extra time alone. It is also the place where the gin and tonic is kept, which is equally appealing when you’re having a testing day of tantrums and whining. (Just the one, of course.)

4. THE PARK
Sometimes I’ll take the boys on a bike ride and run behind them, deep in thought and feeling good that they’re having fun whilst I’m working out. One of my super-fit mother-of-three friends runs twice a week whilst pushing her sleeping toddler through the park in her buggy during nap time. This not only keeps her toned, but it also clears her

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head, leaving her recharged for the inevitably full-on day ahead.

5. THE CAR
Once my little ones are strapped in and occupied with Force Attax and their latest Fungus Amungus purchases, I am left to listen to whatever I like on the radio, sing along (badly) to Heart FM – whilst reliving my youth – or catch up with the news. Just sitting in the front, without anyone screaming in my face and making demands, is utter bliss. And I always bring a bag full of snacks to prolong my moment of peace or pull the iPad out when a ’He just hit me!’ brawl breaks

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out.

For me, all the above places offer a welcome break from the rushed-off-your-feet daily grind of parenting. Don’t get me wrong, I adore spending time with my boys, but having a few moments to myself makes me a better, more relaxed mother. And it’s guaranteed to make me smile – just like my son, up high in his apple tree.

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- 12 Jul 16

Children love to hide and escape, be it in a den made of sticks, a supersized cardboard box, a home-made tent made out of sheets and duvets. They love a place where they can be alone and let their imaginations run wild.

My eldest’s top place to hang out in at the moment is our apple tree – he clambers up it at lightening speed before the morning school run – whilst ignoring my ‘Get in the car now! We’re late!’ angry outbursts – and climbs back up as soon as he gets home. He just sits there with a big smile on his face. Thinking. It’s his happy place. (Plus it’s a bonus to watch his frustrated little brother scratch around below as he tries but fails to reach the branches.) My youngest loves to hide too and is always disappearing behind sofas and in the laundry basket. He even rolls himself into a super-tight tube with the rug and stays there until someone trips over him. He gets a buzz from being hidden and on his own.

I so get this need to escape, to be all by yourself with just your head space for company. And I think as much as it’s important for children to do this, it’s equally important for us parents. Okay, so most of us can’t hide in a den or up a tree all day, for obvious reasons, but there are opportunities in our everyday lives to escape the mayhem of parenting. Here are my top five time-out places (bearing in mind that my boys no longer need watch-them-like-a-hawk monitoring):

1. MY BED
When my eldest comes into my bedroom at 6am on the dot (or earlier on a bad day), I always say, ‘I’ll be down in a minute…’ This translates as, ‘Go downstairs and please just let me lie here for another half an hour. Please let me scoop the duvet up over my head and just enjoy a bit of quiet.’ Now he’s nearly six – and more sensible than me and my husband put together – he is fine on his own. However he does sometimes get bored and bellow, ‘Mummy, get out of bed – now!’ Still, even if I only get a few moments of self-indulgent shut-eye, it is totally worth it.

2. THE SHOWER
No matter how bad your night has been (no thanks to an up-all-hours little mite), a shower always makes you feel refreshed and human again. It’s also where I do all my thinking and where I scroll through my mental to-do list. And you can’t beat just standing there with warm water pummelling down on your back. Heaven… The difficult bit is getting out, but usually a loud screaming noise or a thud coming from the living room will see me rushing for my towel.

3. THE KITCHEN
When I’m cooking, the boys tend to leave me to it. Sometimes they have a go at stirring a white sauce or poking a cooked chicken umpteen times to check if it’s ready, but for the most part they don’t disturb me. So messing around in the kitchen can be a great way to gain some extra time alone. It is also the place where the gin and tonic is kept, which is equally appealing when you’re having a testing day of tantrums and whining. (Just the one, of course.)

4. THE PARK
Sometimes I’ll take the boys on a bike ride and run behind them, deep in thought and feeling good that they’re having fun whilst I’m working out. One of my super-fit mother-of-three friends runs twice a week whilst pushing her sleeping toddler through the park in her buggy during nap time. This not only keeps her toned, but it also clears her head, leaving her recharged for the inevitably full-on day ahead.

5. THE CAR
Once my little ones are strapped in and occupied with Force Attax and their latest Fungus Amungus purchases, I am left to listen to whatever I like on the radio, sing along (badly) to Heart FM – whilst reliving my youth – or catch up with the news. Just sitting in the front, without anyone screaming in my face and making demands, is utter bliss. And I always bring a bag full of snacks to prolong my moment of peace or pull the iPad out when a ‘He just hit me!’ brawl breaks out.

For me, all the above places offer a welcome break from the rushed-off-your-feet daily grind of parenting. Don’t get me wrong, I adore spending time with my boys, but having a few moments to myself makes me a better, more relaxed mother. And it’s guaranteed to make me smile – just like my son, up high in his apple tree.

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Fiona Pennell lives in the Cotswolds with her husband and their two boys, Jack, 6, and Otto, 4. A former YOU magazine sub-editor, Fiona now spends her days being trampled on, going on slug hunts and dreaming of lie-ins. (Twitter: @fiona_pennell)

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