Trials of a New School Mum

Anna - 14 Mar 16

”Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced”, said the English poet John Keats many moons ago.   Now when it comes to the first year of primary school, there’s nothing more real than the realisation that it’s not just our darling mini-me’s who are starting school – but we are too.

Once the offer letter from the chosen (or not, as appears to be too commonly the case) school is accepted, life changes. The seed is sown, and the school rules are things to be adhered to / scared of (delete where appropriate).

The confusion of the school uniform order descends (wtf is a ‘skort’ for example), and the question of how much of each item is REALLY necessary is asked, along with wondering why the bloody hell it all totals the price of a small island?

Uniforms out of the way, and the first nail-biting day arrives. Obligatory ‘first day’ pictures are taken by the front door, whilst anxiety and a distinct feeling of trepidation and nervous tension hangs in the air (this is mainly felt by the parents – the kids are far more laissez-faire).

Once the illegal parking and hazardous scootering has taken place to reach the gates, swathes of foolishly grinning parents suddenly hit your sight line – resembling a middle aged rave reunion gone wrong, whilst their little ones cling to them with a hint of ‘get me the fu*ck out of here mum’ look in their eyes.

Everyone coos over how cute all the newbies look in their uniforms, clearly swamping their little frames (need to get your money’s worth), and move closer to the drop off point. The final steps to the classroom are taken whilst the parents try with all their might to look positive and willing; all the while, their hearts are quietly and slowly breaking. Tears are wiped, some silently, others unashamedly on display as the crying culprits search for a shoulder to weep on. Once again – the kids bear up better.

And so the term began in earnest, and a new way of life in embraced. Homework begins. Real, actual homework – that is done at home. Once this happens, every ounce of effort is needed to actually allow your child to do said homework – mistakes and all, and not be inclined to do your own more seamless version. And then as the weeks progress, the sprog begins to actually learn real transferrable stuff. Reading and writing start to become a reality and not just the resource of adults (sadly no more spelling out naughty words). It’s kind of unnerving.

Only a few mere months into this new school way of life, and the parent ‘to do’ list increases inexplicably by the day. Real ‘adult work’ – that actually pays the bills, goes by the wayside. Fellow newbie parents of receptioners, take heed.

There are Show and Tell sessions to rehearse; nativity play lines to remember (cue more tears on the day); World Book Day costumes to cobble together; fundraising event volunteering to squeeze in (when not ‘voluntarily’ reading to the class); Christmas Cards to remember to buy – as designed by your budding young artist (only vaguely resembling something Christmassy); remembering to bring in random bits of cardboard for ‘junk modelling’ (still no idea); parent evenings to attend (nail biting, sitting on tiny chairs moment), and most importantly of all, remembering the rather rude sounding ‘Mufti Day ‘ (the reasoning behind the term still appears unclear to most). Mufti Day is seemingly a day of liberation – a day when the kiddie winks can express themselves through their clothes and be free to admire each other’s garms with mutual appreciation (usually for the purpose of raising money for the school or some other seemingly desperate cause). But then you’ll forget it’s MF Mufti day, and yours is the only child to arrive in top to toe duller than dull uniform. Yep – tears.

And so the list continues.

Now in the spirit of supporting fellow first time receptioner parents, here are a few tips we have picked up along the way, that I will now share with you:

1. Make friends with other parents (unless they clearly couldn’t think of anything worse, as this will then just make all future exchanges very uncomfortable).   These fellow parent friends will provide much hilarity as you learn the ropes together, and will prove a pillar of support when you need a child-related favour. But returning said favour is good etiquette.
2. Set up a group e mail / whatsapp group / facebook page (or whatever works) to allow you to ask questions and garner thoughts from your fellow receptioner parents without feeling like a dufus. A reminder about World Book Day within our group recently saved my bacon (and more tears).
3. Don’t sign up to after school activities in the first term (or perhaps first year) where possible. It will result in overtired meltdowns.
4. Bring snacks for pick up. If not, you will be met with a death stare of unimaginable proportions, and another possible meltdown.
5. Have wine stocked for Friday evenings (particularly if hosting an after school play date – and essential if the parents of play date child is in tow). Better to be consumed by the adults.

So good luck to those soon to be starting on this new and exciting chapter in your and your kiddies lives. It’s daunting and confusing, but most importantly of all – it’s a time you will probably remember and cherish forever, as you will be lucky enough to watch your baby begin to flourish in unimaginable ways, right before your very eyes.

Anna

Editor of QueensParkMums.com, and Mama to two cheeky little monkeys, Anna is simply winging it like the rest of them. Lives in North West London.

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