Trying for a Girl?

Clare Locker - 10 Jun 17

“So are you going to try for a girl?”

As a mother of two boys I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have been asked this question!

My answers range from “No I’m happy with my two boys” to “I’m not sure if I want another”. Often followed by “Maybe, one day, I’ve got my hands full at the minute” to “Ask the husband!”.

In fact, the very day I left hospital with my second, after a c-section and baby being on IV antibiotics for a week (long story, he was fine), the midwife wife who discharged me actually said “So maybe we’ll see you in a couple of years for a pink one”.

I mean, really?! Yeah because at that point, with leaky boobs, a section scar, a newborn and a two year old that I’d been away from for 8 days, having a pink one was my main concern. Of course.

Now none of this is to say I wouldn’t in fact quite like a little girl to add to my brood of boys. Having grown up with three brothers and being from a generally boy heavy family, some girls finally showing up might be nice to even things out.

But it’s the pity I can’t handle. The old lady in the coffee shop, who smiles and tuts “Boys, hey”, when the five year old knocks his hot chocolate everywhere, just as the three year old tells everyone that he needs a wee, NOW! Or the Mum with the brood of girls, who shakes her head as my boys run around the supermarket pretending they’re superheroes whilst simultaneously swiping a stranger with their pretend sword. “I’m glad I’ve got girls” she says “I don’t know how you do it”.

Don’t pity me, I’m happy with my boys.

No they aren’t quiet, they never keep their clothes clean, and I can dream about a future of shopping trips and long lunches as much as I like, ain’t never gonna happen.

But they are fun, and loving, and adventurous. And I love them fiercly.

So, are we going to try for a girl?

Since becoming a mother myself I’ve noticed that generally it’s the women that ask these kind of questions. The men don’t really seem to care either way.

The answer is, I don’t know yet.

We might well try for another baby. Despite what my 5 year old thinks, even I’m not clever enough to determine the sex of said baby. I’m not sure how I’ll explain this to him yet, especially as he keeps requesting a baby sister. I’m not going to lie, a girl would be nice, but really does it matter? Forgive the cliché but, honestly, if we were to have another child as long as it’s happy and healthy I don’t care either way.

I wonder how many mothers of girls get asked “So are you going to try for a boy?

Originally published:  Oct 26, 2015

Clare Locker

Mama to two boys, wife, teacher. Juggling the chaos, fuelled by coffee. Twitter: @chaos_coffee Insta: chaoscoffee

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