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‘Twas the night before the School Fair

1
 

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the land,

Every parent was frantic, wishing Christmas was banned.

The school WhatsApp group lit my phone like the sun,

The fair was tomorrow – so much prep to be done!!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Haribo danced in their heads.

Mum was downstairs, swigging wine from the bottle,

The school PTA she was going to throttle.

She’d made three hundred bags of cute reindeer food,

All sparkly, making a Christmassy mood,

They couldn’t be

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2
used, she was angry and bitter,

She’d forgotten to use biodegradable glitter!

The Santa suit was dry-cleaned for that she was glad,

She hoped this year the kids didn’t recognise Dad!!!

The oven was baking batch twenty three,

And every cake made was completely nut-free.

Raffle stubs filled in, her fingers were aching,

It’s now 12pm and she’s still sodding baking!

For the second hand stall, she’d filled a whole sack,

While knowing her kids would just buy the toys back.

For games, change was needed she thought in

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3
alarm,

Her kids money boxes may come to some harm.

Down the back of the sofa, she thought she would risk it,

Six twenty p’s, some slime and a biscuit!

Finally, the cookies were baked, the wine had been drained,

And mum was starting to look a little less pained,

But then she remembered and gave a small shriek –

The SUMMER fair meeting is in for next week!!!!!!

 

Written by Sue Chaperlin and Nicky Lahiffe – 2018
’Frazzled Mother’ drawn by Nicky Lahiffe – 2018

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- 9 Dec 18

 

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the land,

Every parent was frantic, wishing Christmas was banned.

The school WhatsApp group lit my phone like the sun,

The fair was tomorrow – so much prep to be done!!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Haribo danced in their heads.

Mum was downstairs, swigging wine from the bottle,

The school PTA she was going to throttle.

She’d made three hundred bags of cute reindeer food,

All sparkly, making a Christmassy mood,

They couldn’t be used, she was angry and bitter,

She’d forgotten to use biodegradable glitter!

The Santa suit was dry-cleaned for that she was glad,

She hoped this year the kids didn’t recognise Dad!!!

The oven was baking batch twenty three,

And every cake made was completely nut-free.

Raffle stubs filled in, her fingers were aching,

It’s now 12pm and she’s still sodding baking!

For the second hand stall, she’d filled a whole sack,

While knowing her kids would just buy the toys back.

For games, change was needed she thought in alarm,

Her kids money boxes may come to some harm.

Down the back of the sofa, she thought she would risk it,

Six twenty p’s, some slime and a biscuit!

Finally, the cookies were baked, the wine had been drained,

And mum was starting to look a little less pained,

But then she remembered and gave a small shriek –

The SUMMER fair meeting is in for next week!!!!!!

 

Written by Sue Chaperlin and Nicky Lahiffe – 2018
‘Frazzled Mother’ drawn by Nicky Lahiffe – 2018

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