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View as: GRID LIST

Watch This Mummy!

1
I don’t know where I got the energy from this morning.  As Squeak was laid on the carpet, legs in the air and naked except for one sock and his nappy shouting ‘not going scooooool’, Bubba was limboing across the living room floor strumming a badly tuned ukulele. I thought ‘this would make a really good Adoption Recruitment poster’!

It’s a rainy Monday morning, I’m queasy due to a combination of a stomach bug and broken sleep (thank you Squeak, probably on both counts!) but I’ve survived the first school run of the week. 

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Just.

Last week a friend asked if I had to endure the phenomena known as ‘watch this Mummy’. Have you heard of it? You must get it too. It’s where, at any time, no matter what you’re doing, cooking their tea,  washing your hair, snowboarding down a mountain or just on the toilet,  your child will demand you give them their full attention whilst they attempt to display a really pointless and usually rubbish physical action!

I endured it this morning. This morning Bubba repeatedly shouted ‘Watch this Mummy’ as he ‘attempted’ a

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handstand against the sofa.

Initially it was going to be a back flip but considering  A) I quite like my sofa and didn’t want him landing full force on it  and B) he can’t actually do a back-flip,  I suggested that he try something else.

This morning I spent five minutes, eyes glued to his contorting body as he repeated ‘watch this Mummy’, ‘watch this’ and threw himself on the floor kicking his legs in the air in moves that in no way resembled a handstand and then fell on the floor looking like a deranged spider! He did this several

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times. I’m so lucky.

What was quite cute though was watching a now dressed Squeak march up to the sofa collapse against it and then stand and take a bow and shout ‘Ta Dah!’. Better attempt than his brother actually!

So I spend a lot of my time observing ‘Watch this Mummy!’ Usually Bubba’s moves will involve a spin and flailing legs. I’ll hear ‘Mummy! Mummy! Watch this’, and I’ll turn around to catch him spinning round on one leg, lose his balance halfway round and fall over. ‘Er, yay Bubba, that’s great’.

I can’t ask

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‘what was that?’ because then I’m met with scorn and disgust like it’s blatantly obvious and I’m the dimmest person in the world!

Usually ‘Watch this Mummy’ involves a random dance move or some form of gymnastic combination but he’s started doing it on walls now. I’ll be happily walking along, thinking ‘I can’t hear the white noise? What’s happened? Have I finally gone deaf?’ and I’ll turn around and he’ll have stopped to climb a wall and will shout ‘Watch this Mummy’ as he gets ready to leap a five-foot drop!

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That’s when instead of ‘Lovely, Bubba well done’, Mummy can be heard shouting ‘get down, no now, get down now, now before you break your neck, no don’t jump, slide’! Jeez

So he can’t do a handstand against the sofa but he thinks he can parkour a five-foot wall!  Happy Monday!

 

 

 

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- 7 Oct 19

I don’t know where I got the energy from this morning.  As Squeak was laid on the carpet, legs in the air and naked except for one sock and his nappy shouting ‘not going scooooool’, Bubba was limboing across the living room floor strumming a badly tuned ukulele. I thought ‘this would make a really good Adoption Recruitment poster’!

It’s a rainy Monday morning, I’m queasy due to a combination of a stomach bug and broken sleep (thank you Squeak, probably on both counts!) but I’ve survived the first school run of the week.  Just.

Last week a friend asked if I had to endure the phenomena known as ‘watch this Mummy’. Have you heard of it? You must get it too. It’s where, at any time, no matter what you’re doing, cooking their tea,  washing your hair, snowboarding down a mountain or just on the toilet,  your child will demand you give them their full attention whilst they attempt to display a really pointless and usually rubbish physical action!

I endured it this morning. This morning Bubba repeatedly shouted ‘Watch this Mummy’ as he ‘attempted’ a handstand against the sofa.

Initially it was going to be a back flip but considering  A) I quite like my sofa and didn’t want him landing full force on it  and B) he can’t actually do a back-flip,  I suggested that he try something else.

This morning I spent five minutes, eyes glued to his contorting body as he repeated ‘watch this Mummy’, ‘watch this’ and threw himself on the floor kicking his legs in the air in moves that in no way resembled a handstand and then fell on the floor looking like a deranged spider! He did this several times. I’m so lucky.

What was quite cute though was watching a now dressed Squeak march up to the sofa collapse against it and then stand and take a bow and shout ‘Ta Dah!’. Better attempt than his brother actually!

So I spend a lot of my time observing ‘Watch this Mummy!’ Usually Bubba’s moves will involve a spin and flailing legs. I’ll hear ‘Mummy! Mummy! Watch this’, and I’ll turn around to catch him spinning round on one leg, lose his balance halfway round and fall over. ‘Er, yay Bubba, that’s great’.

I can’t ask ‘what was that?’ because then I’m met with scorn and disgust like it’s blatantly obvious and I’m the dimmest person in the world!

Usually ‘Watch this Mummy’ involves a random dance move or some form of gymnastic combination but he’s started doing it on walls now. I’ll be happily walking along, thinking ‘I can’t hear the white noise? What’s happened? Have I finally gone deaf?’ and I’ll turn around and he’ll have stopped to climb a wall and will shout ‘Watch this Mummy’ as he gets ready to leap a five-foot drop! That’s when instead of ‘Lovely, Bubba well done’, Mummy can be heard shouting ‘get down, no now, get down now, now before you break your neck, no don’t jump, slide’! Jeez

So he can’t do a handstand against the sofa but he thinks he can parkour a five-foot wall!  Happy Monday!

 

 

 

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