Water Cry-Babies

Camilla - 5 Aug 15

It doesn’t take long for my daughter’s bottom lip to start wobbling once we’ve arrived, in plenty of time, for our weekly swimming lesson. It might be a shriek of delight from another baby in the changing room that sets her off, sometimes it’s when I hand her to the instructor as I get into the pool, but other times, simply lying on the mat and getting undressed is too much. The bottom lip curls, the eyes well up, and the whimpering and crying begins.

I hold her close to me, apologise loudly to the other mums so they all hear and I don’t have to say it too many times, and for the rest of the half hour, I bob up and down in the warm pool, holding her next to me, singing in her ear to keep her calm. I get a smile every now and then, which is why I stay in, hoping this might be the turning point, but following the lesson is futile. Any diversion from the bobbing and singing and we’re back to square one.

To every mum who experiences something similar, I empathise. Deeply.

Swimming lessons are “The Highlight of The Week!!” people exclaim excitedly. It’s a supposed chance to bond and have fun with your little one, and the pressure put on how wonderful it is means it’s disappointing, not to mention exhausting, when it doesn’t work out.

It can be the same with bath time. Apparently, all babies LOVE baths. I mean a bath is basically the womb isn’t it? “How unusual”, “Oh dear how awful” people say when you mention your baby isn’t that into them. And then comes the advice. It doesn’t matter if you’ve tried bathing your baby in deeper / shallower / warmer / cooler water, with music playing / silence / white noise, swifter / slower turn around time, in the big bath or in a baby bath etc etc, the inference from the listener is that you must be doing it wrong.

Swimming is similar. Babies LOVE swimming don’t they! “It’s a natural reflex!” people trill. So, when they don’t, it figures that you, as the baby’s mum, must be doing it wrong. Surely the baby would actually love it, were it not for the fact it was tired, or hungry, or there was some other fundamental comfort requirement that you have forgotten to implement on this occasion.

To every other mum who recognises a similar child in your swimming class, I want to apologise.

I completely understand it must be really annoying to have a baby crying and whining in the pool when you’re trying to enjoy the lesson with your child. You must wonder why the parent is bringing the baby along each week, and you must wonder why they’ve not had a good sleep and a good feed beforehand…

I want to apologise, but I also want to ask that you be kind to the mum in your group who is having a bad day. When you suggest, however kindly, that maybe her baby is tired, she won’t tell you the palaver she’s gone through to try and make sure there are no tears this time. She’ll be too exhausted. For her, preparation for this half hour slot takes place from the moment her baby wakes up, in the hope they’re in prime spirits to take on the pool. Nothing is left to chance.

Judging from the smiles I get from my daughter when she is back on dry land, wrapped in her towel, ready to get dressed, she’s just not that into it. Which is absolutely fine. Newsflash: Some Babies Just Don’t Like Swimming.

We’ll be going once more, to see if it’s third time lucky, because the first lesson was a hit. Otherwise, we’ll leave our swimming group in peace and spend time doing something she loves, rather than something she’s supposed to.

Camilla

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